Have you ever noticed that when you try not to become something you don’t want to be the more you become that very thing? Or that the more you focus energy on what you fear the quicker that fear becomes reality? All of this has to do with resisting the way things are. When we are unaware of the flow of life we fight it and attempt to change a situation to suit our particular needs, fears, or desires. The world would be quite a different place if we all would learn how to let life just happen.
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” Mary Engelbreit
Going with the flow means accepting what is and not necessarily what it is you desire. We all fear losing control and yet overcoming our fear of losing control supports our ability to go with the flow. All of us are happy when things go well, but when things aren’t going “my” way or the way “I” want we get upset and then attract more of the same. This is how the flow of life works. We can’t control everything, even if we would like to think we can, which causes us to resist what is and to go against the flow of life. What we can do is to respond to what is and come up with creative solutions to adapt to a situation or to change it, enabling us to go with the flow of life.
Are you going with or against the flow of life?
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” Winston Churchill
One reason we kick ourselves out of the flow is because we are attached to outcomes. Here is where resistance comes in. We set our expectations in such a way that we become attached that a certain outcome will turn out the way we envisioned it. When the outcome does not go the way we expect we tend to go against the flow and create negativity in our lives. It is important to visualize positive outcomes in life. The key is to visualize these outcomes for the highest good of yourself and others. Then here is the challenging part. Once we have our outcome visualized we need to detach from it. No small task that is for sure. That doesn’t mean that we need to give up. It means we need to take creative initiative to respond to the situation in a different way.
Do you trust the life process?
“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” Pablo Picasso
I can remember a time back in 1997 when I was running StudioFX, an up and coming Internet company in Silicon Valley. Like many start up companies we had our fair share of cash flow problems and funding issues. It was during one of these down cycles that money became tight. We had successfully secured exclusive Internet broadcast and ecommerce rights to a number of classic television shows including the Underdog Show and the Lone Ranger. The Underdog show and Lone Ranger were with Golden Books Entertainment and we were obligated to pay licensing fees for the rights. As timing would have it our fees became due during this monetary down cycle.
My first thought was, “How am I going to keep these agreements if I can’t pay for them?” Funding in the pipeline was partially attached to these contracts and others being negotiated. If we lost these deals things could be a challenge going forward. I was losing control and had to do something, even if I did nothing that was something. It would have been easy to stick my head in the sand and do nothing and wonder when I would get the call that our contract was up. I could have given up. Instead, I took creative initiative to respond to the situation in a different way. I took a risk and called Golden Books to discuss our money challenges and that payment was going to be a little late. To my surprise they were more than willing to extend the time for payment on my licensing fees. All my fears and projections of having to control the situation were not accurate at all. To this day whenever I am in need of being reminded of the power of being in the flow I just think of Underdog.
What examples do you have of being in the flow?
The reality is that we are already in the flow of life. The question is are we going to resist and object to what life presents us or are we going to take creative initiative to respond to what is? Life has its cycles that at times are up and others are down. When you become aware of the flow of life and embrace the power of letting go of control and fear you align with the currents and flow of life. You receive what you need, rather than what you want. The interesting part of going with the flow is that over time these two dynamics have a strong magnetic attraction to each other and at some point unite.
The fact is that this kind of life awareness is not easy. I have to work on it everyday, every hour and every minute. Sometimes I fail miserably. Sometimes I am in the flow so much that every event of the day plays out with ease and grace. I continually have to remind myself to focus on creating each day for a higher good, to let go and surrender from being tied to specific outcomes. I figure it will take the rest of my life to get this one down.
“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
With practice you can learn to go with the flow as well.
Let me know what you think.
Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.