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Believe and Trust in Yourself

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

Inside of you is the ability to do and accomplish the most remarkable things. Anything. Everyone, no matter if it is Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, George W. Bush, or The Grand Lake Bum, is just like us. They too have to put their pants on one leg at a time.

Some people may have more resources, some may have less, and some may have none. Nothing changes the truth that we all have the capacity to achieve great things if we desire and are willing to work hard enough to make our dreams come true. You can do and create anything you can image if you put your mind to it and believe in yourself.

“People become quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves, they have the first secret of success.”
Norman Vincent Peale

What is it that holds many of us back from doing and achieving the things we want in life? Is it because we are scared to fail? Is it because the goal is perceived to be too much work? Is it because we don’t believe we can do it? Or perhaps we are scared of success?

This can be on of the trickiest parts of life’s success. When we are young we are all told “NO” a lot, “You can’t do that,” or the ever-popular “It will never work.” This kind of messaging is pounded into our brains so much that many of us start believing in our heart of hearts that we can’t do what we know we CAN do. As adults we perpetuate this undermining messaging, telling others that they can’t do something, all because of our programming as children. Following this negative and unproductive line of reasoning for yourself will only result in achieving far fewer meaningful accomplishments in your life than if you choose to live a life of “I CAN do anything!”

“Life begins as a quest of the child for the man and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.” Lauren van der Post

Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable!

The challenge is to find the courage not to be influenced by the naysayers and believe deep down inside that you can accomplish anything no matter what people might say.

What if the Wright Brothers had listened to all the people who said, “You’ll never be able to fly.” Instead, they chose to believe they could. When you are able to believe that you can do anything, it does not mean that your life will result in instant accomplishments. Success comes in small steps, in small accomplishments that eventually add up to big accomplishments, big successes. It is said that every overnight success takes 20 years. The Wright Brothers had to work very hard and experiment many, many times along the journey to human flight. They never ever gave up and continued believing they could and would fly. Just like the Wright Brothers you have everything you need inside of you to reach your dreams. It is never too late to start.

“Every achiever that I have ever met says, my life turned around when I began to believe in me.” Robert H. Schuler

In so many cases people believe that they will not succeed even before they start something. What a travesty. Instead, create a mindset of expecting success even before you start. All achievers, no matter what their game, start with the expectations that they are going to succeed. Achievers say, “I want to do this and that I CAN do this,” not “I would like to do this, but I don’t think I can.”

What do you think about yourself and your abilities?

Say you CAN and you WILL. Say you CAN’T and you WON’T. This is a universal truth we can’t hide from.

Try this. Next week become a Possibilitarian and say YES to those things that the week before you said NO to. Say “I CAN do this”, “We CAN do this” and see what happens.

You CAN and WILL do what you think you CAN.

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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Living Life

Friday, August 1st, 2008

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Just suppose you were living life exactly the way you have imagined you want it to be. What does that look like? Are you traveling around the world? Are you swimming with dolphins? Where are you living? What kind of car are you driving? How are you helping the world? Are you taking time to just be? Are you creating that piece of art you have always wanted to create? What kind of career do you have? How are you spending your leisure time?

“Prepare your mind to receive the best that life has to offer.” Ernest Holmes

If you are already living your life exactly the way you have imagined it, congratulations. You are among the select few in the world who have achieved such bliss in life. For the rest of us who continue to dream about a life still not fully achieved there is hope. For each new day has the potential of opening new doors of possibilities. The key is to stay optimistic even through the dark times, the times when our path to living the life we know is possible is shadowed by the daily challenges of living.

It is easy to gain enthusiasm for a dream in the short term. It is a very different thing to remain enthusiastic for that dream through the passing of time. Creating and living the life you want and imagine takes time and hard work. Very few things worth obtaining in life are easy to achieve. This is why so many people fall short, giving up and settling for what is instead of what can be. Don’t let this happen to you. You have too much to give back.

When you stay optimistic you are able to see the doors of possibility opening up in front of you. You are able to go through these doors and explore the possibility to see if this new opportunity supports you to live the life you have imagined and are supposed to live. You will start to see your continued perseverance begin to pay off. Each day you make choices that either support your drive to live the life you dream of, or work to hold you back from living that life. We all need to be vigilant to keep the daily stuff that fills our lives from taking over and limiting our ability to see new opportunities.

Just living in today’s “super human” environment is enough to drag anyone down. When you let skepticism and pessimism take over your state of being, you derail your efforts to living the life you have imagined. I have met many people who have let the challenges of living take over and suppress them from becoming what they know they can become. They have given up and, worst of all, in many cases only complained about their situations as if they had nothing to do with it. They did and you do too.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Suppose for example, that you are making only the best choices for your life from this point forward. What choices will you make? Who will you choose to hang out with? Who will you choose not to hang out with? What health choices will you make? What will you choose for your life?

I suppose life is a journey of ups and downs, highs and lows. It is how we choose to respond to these highs and lows and ups and downs that allow us to appreciate the highs that much more. Sometimes this may mean taking a day as a do over or just going to bed, looking forward to tomorrow and a new day. When you are able to focus on the positive even during the times when your path to living the life you know is possible is shadowed by the daily challenges of living, you are on your way to making the most out of your life and the life of those around you.

“Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.” Anon

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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Have You Hugged Your Barn Today?

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

As humans we have more in common with each other than some people might realize. We all need to get at least 5 to 6 hours of sleep each and every night. We all need to eat food and drink water if we are to survive for very long. Every one of us has something that we are passionate about, being passionate is something that we all are born with.

One of my greatest passions is an old barn. I love them, hug them, collect them, dismantle them, and I creatively adapt the barn wood for new purposes. Right now I am taking old wood flooring from a barn that had a previous life on Patricia Island and I am now transforming the rare material into a bar top in my downtown Tulsa loft. Looking at the old and visualizing how I can transform it into something new is one of the ways that I explore and use my creativity.

What are you passionate about? What do you hug?

“Passion, though a bad regulator, is a powerful spring.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

My passion for barns was not something that I was aware of until I moved to Grand Lake. I discovered this passion quite by accident. One day when I was driving through the back roads of Grand Lake I passed a barn that I had admired for some time. It had a lot of character and I often wondered what stories it could have told of times past. That is why I was horrified to see that it was on fire. My heart raced as I drove straight to the barn and started pulling its smoldering wood out of the flames. I wondered why this wonderful barn wood was being so carelessly and permanently destroyed.

It was at that moment that I discovered a new passion within myself, a passion for barns and barn wood. I became a barn hugger. The important thing to remember is that things you are passionate about give you clues to better understanding and living your purpose in life. This was the first of many barns that I began saving and salvaging before they could be burned to the ground. They became one of the cornerstones of my purpose, which is making a positive difference and showcasing what is possible.

“A hug delights and warms and charms; that must be why God gave us arms.”
Author Unknown

We all have something we are passionate about enough to hug. What is it for you?

Dismantling and salvaging old barns is hard work, I mean really hard work. The first barn I dismantled was in Jay and I had no clue what to do or where to start, muscling the barn siding off with a crowbar was time consuming. Bugs, snakes, wasps, and heat made the work more challenging to say the least. I did not know what I did not know. I was fortunate to be able to enroll others into my vision and with their help figure out how to accomplish my goal of salvaging barns.

No one said that what you are passionate about will be easy or that it will not take effort to achieve. I could have chosen to throw in the towel and let my passion for barns go away. I could have let the hard work win. I could have given up and let my passion burn like the barn I found on the side of the road. Instead I persevered, because I felt passionately about my desire to salvage old barns and I could see how this was tied to my purpose. I now have over seven barns worth of wood saved from the flames of destruction, dismantled, stacked, and ready at anytime for a new life.

“Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark.” Amiel

Many of us identify and feel our passions, it is only natural, and then we do nothing with them. We do not take the next step which is to follow the passion and let it take us on a journey to a new place, a place where we can discover something new about ourselves and move closer to reaching our full potential. Many of us stop when we experience the passion and we run from the feeling. Your passions are what it is all about. Take them by horns and run with them. Nothing could be more important than to live your passions. You can do it!

In my life I have many passions and I work to fulfill and feed each and every one of them. Some are more challenging to fulfill than others and some are yet to be discovered. One thing is for sure. Being passionate about following your passions is one of the most important ways to make the most out of your life.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”
Harold Whitman

Have you hugged your barn today?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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What’s Life all About

Friday, July 18th, 2008

Is it about doing the same thing day in and day out – get up, go to work, go home at night?

Is it about wishing you were doing something else, but never taking the initiative to change?

Is it about working towards the highest paying job?

Is it about working longer hours so you can buy more things?

Is it about being happy and enjoying what you have and needing less?

Is it about working towards the most comfortable retirement?

Is it about waking up to the realities of our time and working to make positive change?

Is it about helping people be the best they can be?

Is it about giving back to your community?

Is it about leaving behind a better world for our children, grandchildren and future generations?

What’s life all about?

Each and every day I wonder if anyone else is asking themselves these kinds of questions. It just seems that more and more I see people going through life without asking any hard questions about their lives, the impact their lives are having on others, or what it means to be human and to be alive on this planet today.

“I don’t see the point of being a human being if you’re not going to be responsible to your fellow human beings. Selfishness thefts away the human and reduces you to just a being.” Candea Core-Starke

Collectively we are having an impact on the world around us and at an ever increasing rate this impact is showing up and affecting our lives. Whether it is air pollution, the presence of pollutants in our lakes, rivers and oceans, the loss of our natural habitats, the price of gasoline, the rising costs of living, together we are impacting each other’s lives.

What’s life all about?

I think it is about each of us waking up to our full potential and taking responsibility for what we do. In all reality, all each of us can do is take responsibility for ourselves. That’s really all we have the ability to be responsible for if you think about it. You can only control one thing and that’s you. The decisions you make, the attitudes you have, the things that you do or don’t do, and the types of people you choose to hang out with are totally your responsibility.

It’s really about waking up and seeing the realities of the world as they are and then working to make positive contributions in the areas where you can make a difference. Yet, so many of us choose consciously or unconsciously to go through life totally unaware of how our behaviors and actions are impacting those around us.

“Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other.” Henry David Thoreau

If you decide you want your behaviors and actions to contribute to the well being of your community and those around you, begin by taking care of yourself. If you want to create more positivity in your life, be more positive. If you want to create more abundance in your life, define what that means to you and focus on abundance rather than what is missing in your life. If you want to create more harmony and peace in your life, create a place for yourself where you can be at peace. If you want to be the best you can be, then be yourself. Only you can do it. No one can do it for you.

What’s life all about?

That is the question. I bet you have a good idea of what life is about if you take the time to reflect and think about it, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

You know more than you know you know, and you can be anything you want to be. It just takes hard work, persistence, intestinal fortitude, and a commitment to fulfill your purpose in life.

When you begin the journey of discovering who you are and your purpose in life, what life is all about will unfold for you.

“The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice that which we are for what we could become.” Charles DuBois

There is no time like the present to take on the challenge and start or reinvigorate the journey.

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
Your article last week “Going With the Flow” really got me thinking about how attached I am to having things go the way I’ve planned. If they don’t turn out the way I expect them to I get very anxious and upset. What can I do to just go with the flow?
Anxious in Miami

Dear Anxious,
Expectations can be very dangerous. When you are attached to your expectations you are setting yourself up for frustration and pain not just for yourself but for the people who you are placing the expectations on. The key is to consciously become aware when you are creating expectations, notice what you are expecting and then focus on letting go of the expectation. Say to yourself or out loud, “I have no expectations and am open to letting the natural flow of things take its course allowing me to be in a relaxed and peaceful place.” If you have the expectation come back stay aware and repeat the letting go process as many times as it takes. Like almost everything written in What Box? it takes practice and patience. Give it a try and let me know how it goes. You can do it!
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember, the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

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Going With the Flow

Sunday, July 13th, 2008

Have you ever noticed that when you try not to become something you don’t want to be the more you become that very thing? Or that the more you focus energy on what you fear the quicker that fear becomes reality? All of this has to do with resisting the way things are. When we are unaware of the flow of life we fight it and attempt to change a situation to suit our particular needs, fears, or desires. The world would be quite a different place if we all would learn how to let life just happen.

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” Mary Engelbreit

Going with the flow means accepting what is and not necessarily what it is you desire. We all fear losing control and yet overcoming our fear of losing control supports our ability to go with the flow. All of us are happy when things go well, but when things aren’t going “my” way or the way “I” want we get upset and then attract more of the same. This is how the flow of life works. We can’t control everything, even if we would like to think we can, which causes us to resist what is and to go against the flow of life. What we can do is to respond to what is and come up with creative solutions to adapt to a situation or to change it, enabling us to go with the flow of life.

Are you going with or against the flow of life?

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” Winston Churchill

One reason we kick ourselves out of the flow is because we are attached to outcomes. Here is where resistance comes in. We set our expectations in such a way that we become attached that a certain outcome will turn out the way we envisioned it. When the outcome does not go the way we expect we tend to go against the flow and create negativity in our lives. It is important to visualize positive outcomes in life. The key is to visualize these outcomes for the highest good of yourself and others. Then here is the challenging part. Once we have our outcome visualized we need to detach from it. No small task that is for sure. That doesn’t mean that we need to give up. It means we need to take creative initiative to respond to the situation in a different way.

Do you trust the life process?

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” Pablo Picasso

I can remember a time back in 1997 when I was running StudioFX, an up and coming Internet company in Silicon Valley. Like many start up companies we had our fair share of cash flow problems and funding issues. It was during one of these down cycles that money became tight. We had successfully secured exclusive Internet broadcast and ecommerce rights to a number of classic television shows including the Underdog Show and the Lone Ranger. The Underdog show and Lone Ranger were with Golden Books Entertainment and we were obligated to pay licensing fees for the rights. As timing would have it our fees became due during this monetary down cycle.

My first thought was, “How am I going to keep these agreements if I can’t pay for them?” Funding in the pipeline was partially attached to these contracts and others being negotiated. If we lost these deals things could be a challenge going forward. I was losing control and had to do something, even if I did nothing that was something. It would have been easy to stick my head in the sand and do nothing and wonder when I would get the call that our contract was up. I could have given up. Instead, I took creative initiative to respond to the situation in a different way. I took a risk and called Golden Books to discuss our money challenges and that payment was going to be a little late. To my surprise they were more than willing to extend the time for payment on my licensing fees. All my fears and projections of having to control the situation were not accurate at all. To this day whenever I am in need of being reminded of the power of being in the flow I just think of Underdog.

What examples do you have of being in the flow?

The reality is that we are already in the flow of life. The question is are we going to resist and object to what life presents us or are we going to take creative initiative to respond to what is? Life has its cycles that at times are up and others are down. When you become aware of the flow of life and embrace the power of letting go of control and fear you align with the currents and flow of life. You receive what you need, rather than what you want. The interesting part of going with the flow is that over time these two dynamics have a strong magnetic attraction to each other and at some point unite.

The fact is that this kind of life awareness is not easy. I have to work on it everyday, every hour and every minute. Sometimes I fail miserably. Sometimes I am in the flow so much that every event of the day plays out with ease and grace. I continually have to remind myself to focus on creating each day for a higher good, to let go and surrender from being tied to specific outcomes. I figure it will take the rest of my life to get this one down.

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

With practice you can learn to go with the flow as well.

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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232

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

If you are like Mike Long, Brian Ruth, and many of the other folks on Grand Lake, Independence Day means it is time to celebrate the day our country came into its own by blowing some *&%$@ up.

Nothing else can excite the soul like a great fireworks show. With this in mind it is not surprising that Americans import over $200 million worth of fireworks from China each year. It would not surprise me if at least 1% of those fireworks will be exploded right here on Grand Lake. Love it!

This year we will celebrate the 232nd anniversary of our founding fathers signing the Declaration of Independence. This act set the original 13 colonies on the road to national sovereignty and laid the foundation for the lives we enjoy here in America today.

“I am whatever you make me, nothing more. I am your belief in yourself, your dream of what a people may become…. I am the clutch of an idea, and the reasoned purpose of resolution. I am no more than you believe me to be and I am all that you believe I can be. I am whatever you make me, nothing more.” Franklin Knight Lane

In 1776 we had 2.5 million people living in our newly independent nation. Today over 300 million people are living in America. The incredible growth that has taken place only highlights how much things have changed in such a short period of time, 232 years. Our founding fathers were wise to create a Constitution that is not only very complex, but at the same time broad in scope. The foresight of these men gives us an opportunity to interpret the greatest law in our land in a way that is adaptable and relevant to our changing nation. The choices that we make today will determine whether or not our country will be able to provide a healthy and meaningful environment for future generations of Americans and set a continued example for the rest of the world.

“My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!” Thomas Jefferson

When Benjamin Franklin was helping to shape the Constitution he could not have known that we would become the greatest military force on the planet. That we would put a man on the Moon, and, at the time of this writing, analyze in real-time minerals and soil on Mars. How could he have known about the Internet’s ability to share information at the speed of light? It took Ben over three months traveling by sea to get a message to France.

Thomas Jefferson could not have foreseen that the average American would be producing 52 tons of garbage by the time they reached 75 years of age in 2008. In his day people bought their food in the local market often packaged in materials that could be reused for quilts or clothing. Back then people traveled days or perhaps weeks by horseback, stagecoach, or train. The idea that over 28,000 planes would be flying through the friendly skies each day taking people all across this country and around the world and would be using over 2 million plastic cups every 12 hours was out of the realm of possibility.

James Wilson could not have conceived that Americans would drink water from over 2 million plastic bottles ever 5 minutes since water in those days was pumped from wells in and round their towns. He could not have predicted that we would be using cell phones to communicate with each other in real-time anywhere in the world, disposing of 426,000 cell phones every day so that we could keep up with the modern technological advances of the day. Communication in those days was by horse messengers like Paul Revere and mail took weeks if not months instead of days to arrive at its destination.

John Adams would have been laughed at if he had suggested that Americans would shop so much that they would go through over 60,000 plastic bags every 5 seconds, or that office workers would print over 15 million sheets of paper every 5 minutes of every day.

Things have changed a lot since the Declaration of Independence was signed 232 years ago. The amount of change that American has experienced in the past 232 years is phenomenal. What is even more amazing is the fact that in the last 40 years there have been more changes than all the changes that took place before the late 1960’s. This is a wake up call to the level of accelerated change that we can expect to see going forward in the months and years ahead.

“Today the world changes so quickly that in growing up we take leave not just of youth but of the world we were young in.” Peter Medawar

Our country has been an inspiration to the rest of the world. We have inspired a world to live the American dream, a dream that has fueled some of the greatest inventions and a spirit of giving that the world has never seen before. We have promoted this dream and excited countries and people worldwide who want what we have been so good at creating. Think about China for just a minute. At the current rates of purchasing there will be 1.3 billion cars in China by 2015. To put this into perspective there are only 800 million cars operating in the entire world today. It will take half of China’s rice fields to be turned into roads to handle this number of cars, and India, with its 1.1 billion people, is working just as hard to capture and live the American Dream.

We are blessed to live in this country, and with these blessings come the same kind of responsibility and influence of our founding fathers. If we are to leave an America to our children like the one we have experienced we are all going to have to change. Besides taxes, change is the only thing we can count on for sure.

This year as you are watching the fireworks bursting in the sky over Grand Lake think about the kinds of changes you would like to create to insure a healthy and meaningful life for you and that of others in your community. You have the power within you to do anything to which you set your mind and heart. You have unlimited potential and so does America!

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Author unknown

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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Sustainable Choices

Monday, June 30th, 2008

Each and every day we make choices, choices that affect our lives and that of others. What we value and how we think of others influences the decisions and choices we make. What do you value and how does this affect your decisions?

Today more than ever it is critical to see the world through a lens of sustainability and equality for all. As a world we are consuming more of the earth’s resources than ever and polluting our world at an ever increasing level, an unsustainable level. Many seem to take a short view and make decisions based upon what impact they can create in the immediate future without regard for the long term consequences of these decisions. Our challenge as individuals and as a community is to think about the long term effects of our decisions. To look out longer than five years and instead think in terms of five generations. No small task indeed.

“Sustainable development is…development that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of further generations to meet their own needs.”
World Commission on Environment and Development

Living and maintaining a sustainable life does not mean that you have to give up all the joys of life we have become accustomed to and in many cases take for granted each day. Quite the opposite. Living a sustainable life means taking the time to buy foods that are locally grown, clothing that is made from natural or recycled materials, or driving your car just a little less. As an example, Kristen, my wife, and I belong to two co-ops in Tulsa that provide us with so much food each week that are able to avoid shopping at Wal-Mart, in fact we have not shopped at Wal-Mart in over seven months running.

It has not been easy to reduce our dependency on Wal-Mart, we had to make a conscious effort to shift our thinking and patterns of buying, spend a little extra, and go out of our way to make it work. In the end the benefits are well worth the time and cost. The food we buy is locally grown, organic, and tastes way better than any other we have eaten besides the stuff that comes from our veggie garden in Zena. All the vegetable last at least a week longer than the stuff you buy in the stores and hey, we are supporting the local economy of our farmers. What could be better?

Native Americans have understood the importance of sustainability for generations. Whenever they were looking to make important decisions that would affect the entire tribe they would consider their decision with the perspective of how it would affect future generations. Native Americans were sensitive to how they impacted the areas where they lived, hunted, grew crops, and interacted. They knew when it was time to leave and let the area they lived rejuvenate itself by letting nature work her magic. They would scout out a new and abundant place to live for as long as that place could sustain them and still come back to the way they found it. We have a lot to learn if we are to sustain our current way of life.

“How long can men thrive between walls of brick, walking on asphalt pavements, breathing the fumes of coal and of oil, growing, working, dying, with hardly a thought of wind, and sky, and fields of grain, seeing only machine-made beauty, the mineral-like quality of life?” Charles Lindbergh

Somewhere along the path we have lost the relationship with our local community and the surroundings of our planet. If we do not gain a better perspective and rethink our relationship with our environment, our local communities, and the planet we call home we are sure to reach a limit that will force us to adjust our lifestyle. We cannot be like the proverbial ostrich and hide our heads in the sand. Wouldn’t it be more productive to take a proactive approach to our changing world and think about our decisions from a sustainable point of view? Our children, your grandchildren and future generations are all depending on us to make the right decisions.

Pursuing practices that will lead to “sustainable livelihood for all” can be such a formidable challenge that to many it seems unrealistic or not worth the effort. Here is the thing, if we, as citizens of Grand Lake and the world are to leave a legacy of lasting positive stewardship of our local community and the planet for future generations, we must take the steps to change our view of a sustainable community. A long view that includes everyone and everything in the choices we make. In the end our individual choices impact not just a Sustainable Grand Lake but a sustainable world. The choice is yours. What will you choose?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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The Game of Life

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

As children growing up, we all learn how to play with one another through games, all kinds of games. I can remember playing flashlight tag with the other kids in my cul-de-sac. Monopoly was the most popular game with my family on rainy days. Candy Land was another favorite and then there was The Game of Life. I can hear the wheel in the middle of game board spinning right now. Where it lands nobody knows. Growing the biggest family, securing the best career, buying the house on the hill, all while avoiding the pit falls of playing The Game of Life.

If only playing the real game of life was as easy as the board game. How do you play the game of life?

“Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.” Cherralea Morgen

Growing up I was never taught how to play the game of life. In fact, I have rebelled against buying into this game and instead created my own rules. I have experienced this game as unhealthy and full of low integrity people serving themselves before others. By creating my own game on the sidelines of the larger game, a kind of ghost in the machine, I have been able to excel with an “out-of-the-box” way of life that has served me well. At least, that is what I have thought. I have been proud to be an example of someone who has not played the game and been able to succeed in life against all odds.

Looking back on my childhood I can see that everything I needed to learn about playing the game could have been learned from my time in the sandbox. We had to share the toys that were available to us. Collaboration was necessary for those in the sandbox to get along and create something. When a bully would take a toy or your sandwich you had to decide to fight or flee. The interactions that took place in the sandbox are a great place to reflect upon how to play the game. What happens between childhood and adulthood that we loose these lessons?

“As we struggle to make sense of things, life looks on in repose.” Author Unknown

As I have become more motivated and focused on sharing the power of What Box? and have been consciously living it, it has become clear that I not only have to start playing the game but embracing playing the game. This is a major challenge. How does one step into the box, yet remain out-of-the-box and keep their sanity? Sounds like one of those wise sage questions that have no answer doesn’t it?

How odd, that to support people, organizations, communities and corporations to think more out-of-the-box you have to step into the box and play the game. This is the way it is and to create a meaningful impact in people’s lives it is critical to become a champ at playing the game. I have been in awe and at the same time in contempt of people who can play the game with great ease.

How can we learn to play the game even better and still remain unique?

“Life is not a final. It’s daily pop quizzes.” Author Unknown

I don’t even know how to fully enter the game. Is there a starting point? Did I miss it and now am I in the middle somewhere on the game board? How do I catch up? What are the rules and who created them? Is there more than one game? Is there a get out of jail free card? Do I get to pass Go and collect $200?

I believe the challenge is to stay conscious of the fact that we are all playing a game, while staying true to our values and mission in life. It’s kind of like standing next to yourself watching and reminding yourself not to take it too seriously and have fun while playing. Aren’t games supposed to be fun?

Like so many things in life and written in What Box? it takes tremendous practice to achieve the desired results. I have a feeling this one is going to take the rest of my life to figure out. I guess we all have to figure it out for ourselves.

“To live remains an art which everyone must learn, and which no one can teach.” Havelock Ellis

Playing the game is part of life. We can embrace it or repel it. Which will you choose?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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Valuing Wisdom

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

In the centuries prior to the spread of American Culture our elders were considered to be the wisest and most respected people in the communities in which they lived. They were revered for their knowledge and wisdom, wisdom gained through the experiences of many years living on the earth. Their achievements were understood as an outcome of what they had learned from experiences that they lived through during their lives. These wise elders were sought after by people in their communities in order that others would learn from them. This way they would be less likely to make the same mistakes the elders had made or “reinvent the wheel.”

“A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.”
Chinese Proverb

What happened along the way to progress?

Today we tend to retire the oldest and wisest people in our communities to human dumpsites like the ones you find in Florida, you know, the high-rise retirement living communities. In Los Angeles they have retirement communities called Leisure Land, or as my Grand Father used to call it Seizure Land. When many people hit fifty today and find that their lives are winding down, their goal becomes to retire and to do as little as possible. Worse yet many families consider their elders to be burdens and put them into rest homes where they actually waste away as they lose meaning for their lives.

Businesses looking for the latest and greatest talent rarely look towards their fifty to sixty year old candidates. In many cases it is thought that they might come with too much baggage and would not be capable of thinking on the innovative level that a business needs to be competitive. Culturally there is a difference between generations, quite possibly more than ever before. However the one thing that these wise people of age have over their younger counterparts is wisdom, wisdom that has been honed over years of trial and error, education, and experimentation.

So how does one gain wisdom?

It takes time, or what I like to call the ongoing “School of Hard Knocks.” Wisdom is developed through a lifetime of experience, insight, reflection, the recognition of truth, and the ability to exercising good judgment. People with an especially well developed form of common sense are also considered to be wise. Many psychologists regard wisdom to be different from the cognitive abilities measured by standardized intelligence tests. Wisdom is generally considered to be a trait that can be developed by experience, and not taught.

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” Mark Twain

Each day we lose people with great wisdom who have moved into the later years of their lives, people who are not considered to have any relevant value in our evolving world. With over half the working population up for retirement in the next five years it becomes important for us to re-think our relationship with our elders, the wise people of our society.

Our American Culture has limited the value and importance of wisdom. In particular, we put wisdom and intuition in same right brain bucket, which is not easy to explain or understand. Logic and the left-brain are the standard for our culture. It is just easier to understand and explain. This is one of the reasons why breaking out-of-the-box is such a great challenge for people. The acquisition of wisdom is actually taught out of us during our traditional school days, and then only perpetuated as we continue down our career paths. People who are able to embrace their intuition and apply the wisdom they have learned are the exception, not the rule, and in general they are in high demand.

How different would our world be if we were using wisdom with the decisions that are being made today, decisions that affect us not only locally, but also globally? Wisdom is a sense, an ability to foresee the consequences of decisions that are being made today. Wisdom looks towards increasing the positive long-term impact of our decisions and how they can contribute to the common good of society. With globalization and technological advances happening at an ever-increasing rate, more than ever we need to leverage our ability to acquire and use wisdom to help guide us into the future.

“I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be.” Thomas Jefferson

Gaining wisdom can be painful, because it usually means that we are learning experientially. Some of the most powerful wisdom is gained by overcoming challenging and difficult situations. The benefits of either gaining wisdom on your own or gaining it through our elders is a great differentiator in today’s highly competitive world.

Now more than ever we need to harness the power of self taught wisdom and the wisdom that has been gained by others. We all have the ability to expand our wisdom as we go through life and we learn from our experiences. When you have wisdom you have power; the power to make better decisions, the power to help others, the power to reach your full potential, and the power to avoid difficulties, because you are able to foresee outcomes.

How are you leveraging your wisdom and that of the people you know?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create.

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Green Light Your Creativty

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

One’s ability to recognize and remove emotional, perceptual, and cultural blocks is a major step towards greater creativity along with breaking out-of-the-box. Once you start removing these obstacles you begin to establish a frame of mind that is more conducive to letting your creative thinking flow. This does not mean that you can simply flip a mental switch and suddenly become creative. Like so many things written in What Box? it takes practice.

The blocks that hold you back have been created over a lifetime. Like you, I continue to be challenged by my own blocks and obstacles holding me back which, in all likelihood, will be there for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately there is no silver bullet or magic formula that will help you to think and be more creative. Instead, you have to constantly practice putting yourself in environments that enable creative impulses and thinking to grow. Here are some effective tools I have found that when used and practiced on a regular basis have helped me to be more creative. I believe they will be helpful to you as well.

Keep a Positive Attitude
To reinforce a creative attitude within you, begin by stating out loud this simple statement, “I am a creative person!” It is that simple. Say it over and over again. For the rest of this week make this one of the first things you say when you wake up in the morning and one of the last things you say before you go to bed. By affirming your own creative talents you will minimize your negative self-doubts and build a more positive mind-set. Research and experiments have proven that the mere suggestion that a person is an original thinker improves his or her creative abilities. Begin to think of yourself as more creative. Begin thinking of yourself as a creative person. If you think you are creative you are.

“Make your optimism come true.” Author Unknown

Take Time to Relax
This is not always an easy one to achieve in our hectic lives. Here is the thing. When you take the time to relax you are working within your own natural flow of creativity. A relaxed mind is an essential characteristic of a creative mind. Being physically tense or mentally uptight has a crippling effect on our natural creative talents. If you are trying to hard to solve a problem, in all reality you are moving farther away from identifying a solution. Creative ideas must be allowed to emerge naturally. They cannot be forced. Removing rigidness and moving into a mind-set of greater flexibility is an important piece to being more creative. To be more creative stay loose and let go of human based time constraints.

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” Carl Sandberg

Suspend Judgment . . . at Least for a While
Ideas and creative thinking are very delicate. Just one criticism or negative thought can inhibit creative thinking. When you hear yourself say to someone, “That’s a good idea, but . . .” you are inhibiting his or her creativity and worse yet, your own. When you say to yourself or others, “That is no good or that will never work . . .” you are guilty of judging too soon. Try this instead. Give your imagination the “Green Light” and let the ideas flow. Later there will be plenty of time to judge and evaluate the ideas that have been created.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality.” Albert Einstein

Open Your Doors of Perception
A creative attitude is a questioning and searching state of mind. Questioning is one of our great gifts and a basic foundation in the creative process. To be creative it is important to be sensitive to problems and their implications. While your judgment may be temporarily suspended, your analytical abilities are not. Creativity requires the ability to analyze problems and break them down into manageable components.

To achieve a stronger creative attitude, open up all of your senses. Strive for a state of heightened awareness which is more in tune with your natural abilities. This kind of fluid state of mind increases your perceptions making you sharper and more responsive. Plug into your senses and you will be able to maximize your creative powers.

“Originality is simply a fresh pair of eyes.” Woodrow Wilson

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

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