What Box?^®

What is it that causes so many people to hesitate moving forward when they have a good idea?

Why do people pull back right when they have the ability to turn their idea into reality?

Is it fear of commitment? Perhaps being afraid of not looking good? Maybe it’s being preoccupied with thoughts of failing?

Could it be that there is fear associated with wildly succeeding, that the idea may have validity, that it could work, and dreams would come true as a result?

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.” Marie Curie

Whatever it is that causes a person to pull back, hesitate, and miss the chance to run with an idea not only robs him/her of the opportunity to create something of meaning, but it also robs the people around them of the chance to participate in and experience what is possible.

I have written it before and will write it again, “You can do anything you set your mind to doing, anything!” How stinking powerful is that. Sometimes I have to remind myself of this as well.

Boldness is what each of us needs. It is what you need. It is more of what the world needs. We have become a global community of hesitation: wait and see, hold tight, and what if’s. How are we supposed to improve our situations if we hesitate, just sit tight and wait and see?

“Freedom lies in being bold.” Robert Frost

Maybe we are not thinking big enough thoughts?

It is an interesting notion that we may need to think even bigger than we have ever thought before to change our situations. What does that look like?

For me it looks like being bold once again, tapping that part of our ancestor’s legacy that required boldness to overcome the challenges of building a nation. The legacy of our ancestors in raising their families with nothing but the passion and energy of human beings willing to reach for something better than what was in front of them.

Perhaps we have gotten a little soft as a people. Many of us have everything we could ever want and more. It is just easier to stay the course and not rock-the-boat so to speak.

“Boldness is a mask for fear, however great.” John Dryden

If there was ever a time in history that could use a lot more boldness, it is now.

So, what happens when one or more people take the bold step of being bold?

Magic my friends. Magic happens when you begin to unlock the hidden potential within yourself. Nothing is more important in your life than to become the best you can be. Now I am not saying this is easy. It isn’t. I’m also not saying that you will find some quick fix here. You won’t. This takes time, patience, intestinal fortitude, and boldness!

“Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told:  ‘I am with you kid.  Let’s go.’”.

Maya Angelou

When you step out of your comfort zone and act in bold ways you open a new flow of events that work in your favor. This hidden set of connections and assistance is just over the horizon waiting for you to step up and act in bold ways.

Remember, you can do and be anything you desire if you are willing to be bold, work hard, and never ever give up. Behind every overnight success is 20 years of long hours and challenges. You can do it!

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” Goethe

Boldness has the power to unlock your potential and inspire others to do the same.

What are you waiting for?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

General George Patton, said, “If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn’t thinking.”

Why is it that we are raised to think so much alike?

How can we learn to think differently, to think for of ourselves?

Each of us has our own unique gifts and an ability to see the world from our own point of view. These gifts and talents, along with an ability to think for our selves, are needed to support the whole, our family, our community, our nation, and our world. Each of us has the potential to offer our thoughts and gifts to influence the well being of the whole.

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein

We are not asked to give another person’s gifts or insights that we are not easily capable of contributing. We are only asked to give our own gifts and unique perspectives. This we can do. The world needs these from all of us and we need each other. We need to learn how to value our own gifts and each other’s gifts so that we can learn to work together in a complementary and cooperative way for the benefit of our whole living system.

The gifts that each of us has to offer is our ability to see the way things are from our unique perspective. We cannot see the total reality with which we are faced with, but we can definitely see it form our point of view. Our perspective, added to that of others, contributes to a clear picture. It’s like putting together a puzzle. If a piece of the puzzle is missing, there is no way to really see the whole picture.

How can we learn to be open to different people’s perspectives and see a larger picture?

“[Thinking is] what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” William James

When we are not thinking for ourselves and sharing our unique gifts we loose our creativity, our ability to innovate, and worse yet, we don’t contribute our piece to the puzzle. When everyone is thinking alike we tend not to question things. We follow like sheep. We succumb to our fears, fabricated or real. A homogenized world is a very boring place in which to live. Maybe this is why depression and other psychiatric disorders are reaching epidemic proportions.

In order to think for ourselves and share our gifts we need to let go our fears of the unknown and what people will think. Those fears, for many of us, come from our thinking that we will not receive the approval of others for what we think and share. We need to believe in something greater than ourselves so that we feel free to express what we are thinking. Thinking for ourselves, thinking differently from others, means that we will make mistakes as we take risks to search for a greater understanding of what is possible. Thinking differently means questioning everything and not being afraid to express those questions. Thinking differently means letting go of judgment and being open to new possibilities, new perspectives, and greater diversity. Thinking for our selves, thinking differently is definitely not easy, but it is worth the effort.

“Begin challenging your own assumptions.  Your assumptions are your windows on the world.  Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.” Alan Alda

What is holding you back from thinking for yourself?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create.

Eyes focused on the road ahead and nothing more on my mind than getting home to Zena, Oklahoma as fast as possible. The radio is filled with commentary focused firmly on the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center. Flashes of the Twin Towers on fire and the thought of missing being in Windows on the World in one of the towers by less than 24 hours haunts me.

Driving a rental car originally intended to be a one-day act to get me from Manhattan to Stamford, Connecticut for a project with GE Capital has now turned into a racecar catapulting me far away from the center of what is becoming a national transformation.

No matter how fast I attempt to drive the rental car the average miles per hour monitor will not move past the 79 mph mark. Pushing the car past 110 mph does not seem to get the job done. Must get home to Zena and my wife, Kristen. Nothing is more important in my mind.

With a sense of anxiousness and hope I decide to call Kristen while traveling through Indiana. I am fortunate she answers her phone from the Grove Leadership retreat she is attending. Her first comment to me is, “Why are you traveling so fast? There must be something for you to see. Where are you?”

I let her know that I am driving as fast as I can. Doing a 110 mph right now and that I am focused on getting home ASAP. Kristen asks me to look at where I am and that I might consider taking a driving break and enjoy a part of the country I have never seen before. All I see is corn fields and Zena off in the distance. I decide look at a sign zooming by and at just that moment I see I am passing the Boyhood home of Abraham Lincoln.

Kristen reminds me that he is one of my greatest hero’s and as an avid collector of Abe memorabilia it would be a great opportunity to stop and visit such a special spot. What could I say but, “You are right darling and I will take the time. Thank you.”

I take the next exit, looking at my average mph decline in frustration and head towards Abe’s home. As I enter the National Memorial I notice that no one is there, not a soul or even a car. I consider turning around and instead park, get out of my car and walk up to the visitor’s center to learn more.

Walking up to the center there are large carvings depicting the history of Lincoln and his speeches. I am extremely moved by what I am reading and start to cry. It is only two days since 911 and the words are mirroring the challenges of today. I walk into the visitor’s center to find not a soul in the place. I yell, “Hello!” No response.

Walking outside the visitor’s center I see a large, long courtyard that leads to the log cabin and farm of Lincoln. I think about getting my car and inching the average mph higher, but instead decide to take the long trail to the cabin. It is a very relaxing walk, with birds flying around, squirrels running around in front of me. As I come through a tunnel of trees into the meadow opening to the farm and log cabin I see a fire and a women in 1800 clothing stirring a pot over the fire.

As I get closer I smell that she is making some kind of stew. Next to the fire pit is an amazing looking pie and some bread. My first thought is, “What is going on here?”

All of the sudden she notices me and says, “Howdy stranger. Looks like you are from the big city based upon your clothing. You must have traveled a long way. You must be hungry? Would you like some fresh stew and pie I have made?”

Am I really dead? Was I in the Twin Towers and is this heaven? I pinch myself and well, I feel it.

I respond and say, “You know that sounds really nice. I would love some stew and pie.” She picks up the stew cauldron and pie as we head towards the log cabin. My mind is swimming, “Am I in a dream here? Is this Abe’s mother?”

I ask the oh so nice women her name and she reply’s, “Nancy Lincoln and yours?” I respond in amazement with, “Sean Griffin.” “A good Irish name,” she responds back.

“Anything of interest and newsworthy to share?” she asks. “We don’t get much current news out this far.” I ask her if she has heard of the airplanes hitting the World Trade Center. As I am invited to sit down at the dining table next to an open fire in the log cabin she asks in a puzzled way, “Airplane! What is that? World Trade Center. Never heard of it. You big city folks are just to much for us country folks to keep up with.”

What the? Stew is being placed in front of me steaming hot and along with a large piece of apple pie. From my view out the open door there is a wood fence in the foreground and off in the distance I see a man walking towards the log cabin. “Have I have gone back in time or lost my mind? Is that Abe Lincoln walking out from the woods?”

I take my first bite of the stew and it is wonderful. I savor the bite and Nancy notices. “You seem to be very pleased with my stew,” she says. I respond with, “I think it may be some of the best I have ever had. What type of meat is in here?” She says it is a nice buck that Thomas and Abe were able to bring down which is always a nice treat around here. I am glad that we are able to share it with you. I am interested in knowing more about Airplanes,” she says.

About this time it becomes clear that it is not Abe Lincoln walking towards the cabin. It is Thomas, Abe’s father. “Is this for real?” I continue to enjoy the stew and take my first bite of the pie, mouthwatering and so sweet. Nancy notices that Thomas is coming back and gets excited, because he has two Rabbits hanging from his rifle. “Ok, this is getting stranger all the time.”

Nancy walks out to greet him and lets him know that they have a really nice visitor from the big city with some strange news about airplanes and big buildings. The man walks in and introduces himself as Thomas Lincoln and welcomes me to his farm and home. I thank him and explain that his wife is one of the best cooks I have ever experienced. “You are one lucky man, Thomas.”

He is grateful as he places the rabbits on a table next to the fireplace. Then leaning his rifle against the mantle he says, “How long you planning on staying? If you can stay through tomorrow you would get a chance to meet my son Abe. We could use some help around here and would enjoy the company.”

To be honest at this point I am not sure if I should run, stay, pass out, or just stay in a state of jaw drop. “I thank Thomas for the invitation to stay and let him know that I surely would enjoy the cooking. As it is I must get to Oklahoma to meet my wife whom I have not seen in some time.”

He is very friendly in his response and says, “I understand. I do not like to be away from Nancy very long either.”

I finish up my stew and pie and am offered a cup of hot coffee Nancy just brewed. I ask her if I can walk outside with the coffee and she says, “Of course you can. Why don’t you come out and look at the hides we are tanning?” I walk outside and sure enough there are two hides. I ask, “Is this one from the buck?” “Sure is,” she says.

Thomas starts over our way and asks if I could help him stretch one of them, “Could use a little muscle.” I say, “It would be my pleasure to pay you back for such a wonderful meal.”

I ended up helping Thomas pull the hide and move some lumber as I started to get really comfortable with the situation to point of not realizing I was where I was. As I awoke and realized I had probably spent three hours or more with the Lincolns I decided it was time to get back to increasing that miles per hour average was working on, that is if I was still alive and this whole thing was not a dream.

As we said our good byes it was clear that these two were really living their lives as if they were the Lincolns in 1817. They were living back in the time of Lincoln, and I was too for a time, hanging in Lincoln’s home. Amazing!

Walking towards the tunnel of trees I had previously walked through to enter this connection to Abe, Nancy and Thomas were holding each other waving their hands at me as I slipped into the tree tunnel and trail back to the world of September 13^th, 2001.

Getting to my car there was still not a soul or a car in site, only the birds and squirrels. I got in the car and sat for a few minutes, embracing what had just taken place. For a moment I was hanging with Lincoln, a man I deeply admire and work to emulate. For a moment, time stood still and all that existed was a pioneer spirit and the transformation of a nation.

Turning the key, the motor started and the average miles per hour monitor was still at 79. Pulling onto the highway I realized that no matter how much time passes, the more things change, the more they stay the same, and that a man name Abe has made a big difference in our lives.

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

I am constantly amazed at how many people continually settle for what is instead of what can be. It actually boggles my mind at times. A while back when I was talking about a Civic Engagement endeavor, someone said, “Sean, what you are looking for is a Cadillac and a Chevy will do.” No criticism to Chevy owners, I’ve got one. My response was, “A Cadillac would be nice, but what I am looking for is a Rolls Royce or Ferrari. And we can do it!”

Unfortunately, we see people settling more and more and it seems to be contagious resulting in settling on top of settling. The time is now folks! Let’s change the tide, turn the ship around, and carve a new path, a path where we are willing to compromise and at the same time unwilling to settle for anything less than the best that possibly can be. Our community, our state, our country and the world all depend on our ability to go for the best that can be and not to settle for anything less.

“Excellence can only be attained when you care more than others think is wise. When you are willing to risk more than others think is safe. When you dream more than others think is practical. And when you expect more than others think is possible.”

Author Unknown

Here is the challenge. When you settle for something less than what is possible the result is less than what you really desire. Settling can even have negative impacts that are totally unexpected. When you don’t settle you come closer to setting yourself up for success instead of failure. If you do fail, and we all do, take notes, think about what you learned, stand back up, dust yourself off and get back on that horse.

When you think about it for just a minute, why would anyone be willing to settle for less than what can be? Is it because the goal is too much work? Is it because they really don’t care? Is it because they would have to step up and put their ideals on the line? Is it because they might look bad in the public eye? Is it because they are empty inside? What is it?

Nothing of great historical importance has come from anyone who has settled. If ever there was a time in history to not to settle for anything but the best for all people, it is now.

America would not be an example of what is possible if our founding fathers had settled for the status quo of English rule. NASA would not have gotten the space shuttle back to earth if they had settled and left the small pieces of mesh hanging from the under belly of the space ship. My mother would never have been able to have this non-traditional person educated if she had settled for me getting educated in the traditional school system. None of these people settled and it is my sincere hope that you won’t either.

So what can you do to increase your ability not to settle in a time of so much settling?

I have written and said it so many times before, “Anything is possible, and when we believe it and live it, this thinking will manifest itself in everything that we do.” Ask questions like, “Why? How can we do better? Is there another way?” Keep asking questions until people begin to think differently. Offer up solutions, think-out-of-the-box. Never ever give up. Stay flexible and at the same time remain on task. Show what is possible by taking on the challenge. Take a risk. The biggest risk in accomplishing what you want in life is to not take a risk at all.

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you have tried and failed in, but for what is still possible for you to do.” Pope John XXIII

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

Growing up in Silicon Valley you don’t always know what you don’t know, even though you might think you know.

For instance the idea of owning a boat seemed, well, ridiculous to say the least. On occasion during side conversations at cocktail parties I might here the statement, “Boating is like cutting $100 bills as fast as you can.” or the well known, “The two best days are the day you buy a boat and the day you sell your boat.”

“There’s more to the truth than just the facts.” Author Unknown

All of that changed the day I decided to take a “leap-of-faith” shocking friends and family back home and a few Grand Lakers by starting a new and adventurous life on the shores of Grand Lake. This continues to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, besides marrying my wife, Kristen.

Everything I had known was left behind and a new chapter opened. A chapter that included my first visit to a Wal-Mart store, watching satellites at night, observing eagles in flight, experiencing the wildlife that living on Grand Lake is so blessed with, and a new owner of a boat dock. Having never owned a boat dock before I was not so sure what its purpose was except to sit on it and watch the day go by.

Neighbors would come down and show me how to fish for crappie and fishermen would show up fishing all around it which seemed oddly foreign to me. As far as I was concerned it was a great place to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning before starting the day.

As Kristen and I got to know more and more people in the community we were consistently asked two questions, “Have you found a home church yet?” and “Have you bought a boat to fill your boat dock with?” Both were new concepts to say the least.

At first owning a boat was not a priority. That was before we got picked one night and went for a boat ride around Grand Lake. After a couple of more rides around the Lake I started thinking, “You know a boat could be nice.” That is when I got my first taste of the Tulsa Boat Show as a guest of Mike and Harriett Long. As I looked at these boats I realized there was more to a boat than just a hull and motor.

It took a while, but after a couple months of browsing and testing Kristen and I became the proud owners a 28-foot Cuddy Cabin SeaRay. We didn’t think about it when we brought our boat, but discovered after several journeys around that Lake that a bigger boat would be much better for those days when the wakes from other boats can make the ride less than enjoyable. This is a case when bigger is better.

Our first trip out onto the Lake was at dusk and we decided to drive our boat to the dam. It was a beautiful star studded evening. Then everything got dark and everything changed. Where were we? Which direction did we need to go to get home? After a few hours of following the shoreline into a number of coves and hollows we finally discovered the cove that lead to our home. As we passed each neighbor, his lights went off, and with a sigh of relief we finally successfully parked the boat.

That is when we decided we needed training on how to navigate our boat and find out other things about boating that we didn’t know. The next day we signed up for The Boat Smart Course in Grove. At the conclusion of the coarse, with a certificate in hand and a new sense of confidence, we set out to explore the Lake at night which has become our favorite time to take our boat out on Grand Lake.

“A lake is the landscape’s most beautiful and expressive feature.  It is earth’s eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature.”

Henry David Thoreau

It has now been eight years since we purchased that SeaRay and when I desire a shift in attitude or a bit of inspiration a ride on the lake remains one of the most effective ways to achieve a natural high. Whether taking a ride to Mooney’s or a friends house nothing makes me smile or feel as good as a boat ride. Who would have thought?

I found out a couple years ago that part of the reason for my feeling such a natural high while boating is because the surface of water holds a thin layer of ozone which is lifted into the air as the boat cuts through the water filling my lungs. Now I breathe in deeply as I make my figure eights and cruise through the water.

Boating is definitely one of the best forms of transportation that I have come across and, like so many things about living on Grand Lake, owning a boat is one of the best parts. Meeting friends out on the Lake for dinner, sharing celebrations out on our boat with family and friends, and watching the stars and moon at dusk all take on a whole new meaning when you are out on the water. And, add to all of this the natural high that boating can give you. Boating has it all.

For me the purchase of my boat remains one of the best purchases that I’ve made. If you have been considering a boat purchase and need a little nudge, Spring is just around the corner and the upcoming Tulsa Boat show is the perfect place to explore the options available to you.

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” Roy Disney

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.