Archive for January, 2012

Love. All You Need.

Monday, January 30th, 2012

What does love mean to you?

Every one of us loves someone, something, and in many cases even ourselves. We were born into this world filled with love. Love is what we all are looking for each and every day. Love fills us with joy, lifting our spirits and inspiring us to new heights. Love is one of the most powerful energies that exist in the universe. Learning to love is what we are designed to do and what all of the great religions of the world teach us to focus on. Love is about learning how to live our lives to the fullest.

The Beatles may have said it best when they sang, “There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done, nothing you can sing that can’t be sung. Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game. It’s easy. There’s nothing you can make that can’t be made, no one you can save that can’t be saved. Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be in time. It’s easy. All you need is love.”

All you need is love.

Yet, how many of us go through life consciously aware of how we give love or receive love? For that matter, how many times do people say, “I love you?” Did you know that the more love you give the more love you will receive? It is the same with giving it away to get it back. The more you give away the more you get back. The thing is that when you give away love you are giving away the most precious gift you can possibly give. And guess what. It doesn’t cost you a single dime.

What does it mean to love? When we “fall in love” with someone, not for what we can get from them, but for who they are, their essence, their soul, their energy, and their being, we see in them something that sparks the love that we have inside of us. We find ourselves in a state of adoration which drives us to want to know who they are, what they are thinking, what they want for their lives, and wanting to be with them every moment that is possible so that we can serve them and love them. This is when our true nature of giving and receiving love works its magic. It is your true nature to be in a state of love.

Are you in a state of love?

“In our life there is a single color, as on an artist’s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love.” Marc Chagall

Isn’t it strange how we all are born into a state of unconditional love and then as time passes many of us lose touch with what it means to love? One of the commandments is “to love thy neighbor.” What does that mean to you? What if you don’t like your neighbor? What happens if he is mean and takes advantage of you? What if he is rude and speaks badly of you behind your back and you become hurt, distrusting and feel separate from him? How can you find yourself in a state of love under these circumstances? I think that to love one another is to have an attitude of wanting what is best for them, regardless of whether or not they are interested what is best for you. It doesn’t mean you have to like them, but it does mean if you are in a loving state that your attitude towards them should be to want what is best for them. A little complicated isn’t it? What do you think?

Given this example it is easy to see how one could lose touch with what it means to love. Perhaps we find that it is just easier not to let people in and allow ourselves to be vulnerable through giving love. The thing is that if we get hurt it is because we are expecting something as a result of our loving nature. Giving love does not mean that we are always going get what we expect. It is the expectations we set of what we are going to get back when we give our love that hurts us. The key is to be in a state of unconditional love, a state where expectations do not exist, that is you give your love freely, without expectations of getting anything back. Sounds difficult doesn’t it? Well, no one said that re-learning how to love was going to be easy, particularly when it generally takes a lifetime to re-learn what it is we knew when we were born.

Very few things written in What Box? are easy. It takes work to awaken that part of our being, the part that is our loving nature, the part of us that is tied to our inner child, the place we found ourselves when we were born. You can do it.

In my life I have experienced anger and aggression toward people who have hurt me or who have hurt those that I love. It is easy for me to fly off the handle and lash out at them through foul words or physical contact. The thing is that after the altercation I only feel worse about the situation and angry at myself about what happened and for being such a buffoon. This is when love comes in and I become aware of being sorry and remorseful for my response. This is love working its energy to get me out of my state of anger to a place of love, a place where I can apologize for my actions and forgive myself for my negative and hateful behavior.

Over the years I have learned to become aware of my emotions and feelings so that when I feel anger or aggression coming on I am able to consciously focus on love and compassion. I have found that I need to walk away, breathe until I am calmer, and then return to the situation when I am able to respond more clearly. I guarantee I will be working on this one the rest of my life. The good news is that this method works for me and it can work for you as well.

What I have learned from my life experiences is that when I focus on living my life in a state of love and giving unconditional love to the people I am in relationship with, I am happier and the better my life becomes. People are attracted to people who are in a state of love because this is what they are searching for, that natural desire to be near loving people.

“Love talked about can be easily turned aside, but love demonstrated is irresistible.” W. Stanley Mooneyham

It is unfortunate that people in a state of love are so rare to find today. You were created to love. You were created to give love unconditionally. You were created to receive love. And you were created to be the best you can be. When you live a life focused on expanding the power of love for yourself and others anything becomes possible.

“You can do no great things–only small things with great love.”  Mother Teresa

Let me know what you think.

New Year! Visualizing the New You!

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012

Are you looking for more meaning and purpose in your life, or are you just going through the motions in your daily lives? 2012 is here, are you willing to go through the transformational journey to discover your greater purpose? Now is the perfect time to start the process of thinking about the kind of future you want to create for yourself.

“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” Thomas Szasz

Ringing in the New Year is an extremely powerful time in my life. It is the time of year when my wife Kristen and I take the time to review our successes and failures, to take in the lessons learned and then apply them to our updated life design.

I started the process of brainstorming and visualizing personal goals and objectives on large pieces of paper in my teens. Developing this type of historical visual collection of my life has become an important tool to support an understanding about how my time and energy is spent as I work towards what I want to create in my life.

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious effort.” Henry David Thoreau

Here is how it works – Either by yourself or with your significant other/friend, find a couple of big pieces of paper – a paper grocery bag can work well. You may want to tape some paper together to make the surface bigger. Kristen and I use a 4’ x 14’ piece of paper when we go through this process.

Step One – In the center of the paper write/draw “Creating My Life, My Way, Today!” If you are working with another person, have them do the same on a separate piece of paper.

Step Two – Randomly write words or draw pictures that categorize the activities and relationships in your life. Make sure to allow plenty of space so you can add additional details around each of your categories. Here are some examples of categories that I like to use:

  • Family/Friends
  • Career/Business
  • Health/Physical
  • Finance
  • Home Environment
  • Community
  • Fun/Recreation
  • Personal Growth

Step Three – After you have developed your categories, focus your energy and attention on each category, one at a time. Write down your ideal goals and outcomes for that category in the coming year. Take your time, writing as many aspirations as you can think of. The key is not to over think your idea. Usually the first thoughts that come to mind as you think about what you want to create in your life. Use the same process for the remaining categories.

Step Four – Compare your Life Creating Visual with your significant other or good friend. Have each person share his or her entire visual one at a time. Next, start looking for the areas where you can support one another in achieving each other’s goals for the coming year. Make sure to talk about the challenges and success factors to achieving the goals and outcomes. Stay realistic, setting yourself up for success instead of failure.

Step Five – When you have completed your Life Creating Visual, post it in a place where you can see it every day: the wall into the bathroom, your bedroom mirror; anywhere you visit and spend time thinking.  Just post it!

Many of you are likely thinking, “This is going to be a lot of hard work and take up a bunch of my time.” I feel the same way at times and I just don’t want to go through the hassle to do this kind of personal growth work. Guess what? I still do it, and then after all is said and done, I wonder why I even hesitated at all. Getting over the hump to create the life you want takes effort. In the end nothing could be greater than living the life you create each and every day.

“Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” Carl Sandburg

Time is running out! How are you going to create the kind of future you want for yourself?

I wish you all a Very Happy and Prosperous Year in 2012. Remember that the only boxes that exist are the ones that you create for yourself.