What Box?^®

Doubt can have a very powerful influence on our lives. When we find ourselves doubting what we are about or our abilities, we can be stopped from reaching for our full potential, from living our dreams, or from going for what we want in life. All of us have doubts about what we can do, who we can be, what we can achieve. The difference is that those who achieve what they want in life have figured out how to overcome their doubts. No small task.

“To believe with certainty, we must begin with doubting.”  Stanislaus

Doubt is one of the greatest obstacles we have in achieving our goals. Doubt creates barriers that prevent us from moving forward with an action that can change our lives. Doubt blocks that which inspires us to be more creative and to think differently. Doubt also prevents us from developing new ideas and solutions to life’s challenges. The challenge for each of us is to become aware of our doubts and face them head on.

How often do doubts creep into your thoughts each day?

I know that when I wake up in the morning visualizing my greatest wants, a castle on the hill, my spiritual awakening in the Himalayas, or my New York Times best seller, doubt seems to automatically have a way of creeping in. My mind goes to beliefs I have developed from living a life that has been influenced by people who have let doubts run their lives. They have said, “You can’t do this or that.” In order to let go of the doubts that have crept in, I have to consciously stop my negative thinking and focus my mind on creating and believing in what I want to achieve in my life.

When you believe that you can be, or do anything you set your mind to, you are able to overcome doubt.

One of the most effective ways to overcome doubt is to utilize your imagination to believe you can do what you want to do. You can imagine yourself in the job of your dreams, in winning a marathon, in having the fastest car, in being the best in sales, in hitting a hole in one. If you can imagine it and set your mind to it you can do it.

“The courage to imagine the otherwise is our greatest resource, adding color and suspense to all our life.”  David J. Boorstin

Another way to overcome doubt is to disregard negative people and their advice. Don’t buy into their negativity. There are always going to be negative people who keep their power by sabotaging others, casting doubt on ones ability to succeed. Stay away from these people! I have found that many of the negative people in the world have no idea how to overcome the challenges of life. Their negativity causes fear and unrest that is destructive and hurtful. Focus your attention on people who are interested in your success and will give you positive and constructive encouragement.

Being in doubt can keep you from acting on what you believe in and is a sure fire way to prevent your dreams and desires from becoming a reality. When you say to yourself, “I can’t do this,” or “I’m not really able to be successful in this venture,” the outcome of what you believe will come true. Become conscious of your self-doubting thoughts and work hard to replace them with positive thoughts of you believing in yourself. Blocking out doubt and replacing it with, “I can do it,” takes practice and hard work. The more you want to be successful and the more you believe in yourself, the more likely you are to overcome your tendency to doubt your ability to succeed.

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”  Abraham Lincoln

Surrounding yourself with what I like to call “eagles,” or positive successful people, may be one of the most powerful ways to overcome your doubts. By connecting with motivated positive people you have the opportunity to increase your learning and experience traits that produce results. Go ahead and ask them to become your mentors, and focus on learning the keys to success that will enable you to create what you want in your life.

In the end no one can overcome your doubts for you. Only you can do it. Never give up! When you take the steps to consciously face your doubts head on and work to replace them with what is possible, you will be on your way to achieving your hopes and dreams for the future. Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean
Your Super Tuesday article was really something. I’ve never heard of anyone having an experience like this. I had the experience of going to the polls and because I am registered as an Independent I was not able to vote for the candidate of my choice. I could not vote for someone outside of the Independent Party.  I was mad and did not know how to respond. What would you suggest that I do if this happens again?
Frustrated in Tulsa

Dear Frustrated
Being registered Independent has its disadvantages in states and communities where there are no Independents on the primary ballot. If you want to vote in the primary you will need to consider registering either Democratic or Republican. You can still remain an Independent at heart and have an opportunity to influence outcomes of one of the two major parties. If you choose to remain an Independent, know voting in the primaries is going to continue to challenge you and other Independents.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself

One of the greatest privileges of being a citizen of the United States of America is our ability to get out and vote for the person that you want to see represent you in the White House. This year’s Presidential election is a critical one and will in all likelihood shape the direction and influence of the United States for generations to come.

Last week’s Super Tuesday was an important and historic primary no matter which party or candidate you were voting for. With the real potential for a woman or an African American to become President for the first time in our history along with one of the oldest candidates in history on a ticket, the stage has been set for what is sure to be the ultimate reality show, the Presidential Race.

Super Tuesday was not all that different from other Tuesdays for me, as I still had meetings, strategy sessions, problem solving, and more meetings. Most voting days my wife Kristen and I go out to vote together around lunchtime. Unfortunately, Kristen was in bed with the Flu and was not feeling good enough to go out and vote. This Super Tuesday I waited until almost 6pm to go and vote in between my last two meetings of the day.

Everything seemed normal as pulled into the parking lot and got out of my car. There were other people getting ready to walk in and vote and still others were coming out with their “I Voted” sticker proudly placed on their shirts and jackets. My mind was not totally focused on voting. Instead, I was focused on my upcoming meeting and I was not being present in the moment. As a result, I was not prepared for what was about to happen next.

As I opened the door to the voting station, my mind on the meeting that was about to take place, a voter volunteer off in the distance and sitting behind the long tables where voters have to register stood up abruptly and pointed her finger at me saying very loudly, “It’s you! You are the one with the signature!” Not knowing what this person was talking about I was taken aback and was not sure what was happening, or whether or not this person was talking to me. The other voters in the station were not sure what was going on either.

Walking up to the table I could see that the other volunteers working at the voter station were also aware of something that I was not aware of and had been awaiting my arrival. My mind started going back into the recesses of my brain files looking for the connection to what was clearly a big deal to these volunteers, a big enough a deal to make it public that I had “The Signature.”

That was when I remembered the letter. After the last election I voted in I received a letter from the Election Board stating that they had encountered a “unique situation,” something that had never happened before, something that was not working for them, something big enough that made it necessary for them to send me a formal letter. What was this something? It was that my signature was so large that it took the space of six other peoples’ signatures and that they were requesting I adjust my signature to fit into the tiny space they allow for other signatures. They even gave me a photocopy of my signature to make sure I understood the size and space I had to work with in relationship to my signature. Ah ha! I had found the connection to why these folks were so interested in my signature.

So, I found myself standing in front of four voting volunteers who know who I am, who know that I have received a letter about my signature, who are awaiting my arrival, and who are totally focused on making sure that I follow the rules by making my signature fit within the box provided. I was starting to wake up to what was going on and feeling really uncomfortable about the situation. For those of you who know my signature, fitting it into a tiny box is not really going to happen with any kind of ease even if I miniaturized it. Mine is a What Box? signature for sure. 

One of the volunteers said, “You need to see this person.” So I walked up to the suggested person and I was asked, “What is your name?” as if they did not already know. The way they were crowding around each other to see what was going to happen only added to the intensity of the situation. It took what seemed like an eternity for the voting volunteer to go through her papers. All of this time the line behind me was continuing to grow. I started to explain, “I am not sure how I am going to get my signature to fit within the small and limiting box being provided for me.” Their response was that I had to sign within the box or that I could not vote. I was starting to get a little upset and anxious at this point.

The volunteer continued to look for my name on the list and she asks me again, “What is your name?” I said, “Griffin, Sean Griffin,” and spelled it out for her. In my mind I was really challenged now. I thought, “How am I going to fit my signature into this space? Why have they singled me out and publically humiliated me in front of all these voters?” Then I suggested that I be granted the option of just printing my name, because I knew that I could get the letters to fit within the box. The response was a clear, “You have to “sign” your name within the box.  You may not print your name.” Great!

The volunteer behind the table finally found my name on the list and with the other volunteers looking on pulled out a yellow plastic card in the shape of the box indicating where my signature had to fit. The volunteer said, “This is for you!” I respond with, “You have got to be kidding? There is no way that my signature is going fit within that space.” It was a scene at this point and the number people at the voting station was continuing to grow. A voter registered as an Independent showed up while all this was happening and was informed that he couldn’t vote in the Primary because there wasn’t an Independent on the ballot. I recommended that he consider registering either as a Democrat or a Republican so he could get his vote in during the Primary and that he could still remain an Independent.

The tension was building and my signature was not getting any smaller. I ask the volunteer to place the yellow plastic signature constraining devise onto the paper where I was to sign my name so that I could see what I was dealing with. It was small, I mean really small, and I had no idea what to do. The volunteer had all four fingers holding down the signature devise and repeated, “You have to sign your name within the box if you are to vote!” I responded, “I got it, thank you.”

With an option of walking out and not voting or signing in the box I pulled out my pen and creating pressure I signed my name on top of the yellow devise and within the box. It was challenging to say the least. As I finished I asked to see the space where my signature was now partially inked. I looked at it and said, “That is not my signature at all. Let me see that thing again.” The volunteer only started to pull it away with the other volunteers looking over her shoulders and I said, “Let me take a picture of it.” I pulled out my phone camera and focused the lens on the large piece of signature paper. Well, let me tell you this did not go over well at all. The volunteer who yelled and pointed her finger at me when I first walked through the door leapt over the paper and yelled, “No, you can’t take a picture of the signature page!”

Realizing what a scene this was, that 7 minutes has passed by and that I had a meeting to attend, I took my ballot, walked over to the voting booth, took a deep breath, focused, and placed my vote. Leaving the voting station I let them know this would not be the end of things.

Never in my life have I ever experienced this kind of discrimination, humiliation for just being me, and made to conform to such limiting rules. The whole experience made me mad, uncomfortable, and frustrated to say the least.

What a wild story?

It is only after reflection that I realized I could make it a big deal and push my will on them to change and behave differently. Another possibility was that I could let it go and try to find an alternative approach to the situation, an approach where I could take responsibility to make a positive change so that I can vote without tension or humiliation. Positively changing who I am and how I act and react is a powerful way to improve. You can do it too.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”  Author unknown

In the end I am going to choose an option that will create a positive result and give me greater flexibility. Perhaps I will create a signature that I will use just when I vote, a voting signature. Being different, being creative, and having a unique signature sure can get a person in a wild and challenging situation. Maybe this is why so many people choose to avoid being creative, different, and themselves. Choosing to focus on the positive, to grow and learn from the experience I had on Super Tuesday makes all the difference. I will not forget this Super Tuesday experience and I will work at continuing to learn and grow from it. I won’t be changing my signature, just my approach in dealing with voting volunteers and the voting process.

“Experience is not what happens to a man.  It is what a man does with what happens to him.”  Aldous Leonard Huxley

How are you growing and learning from your challenges?

See you at the voting station.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself. 

Just like an oak tree, each of one of us needs a structure consisting of rules and goals in order to grow into a person of value. The oak tree begins as a seed and is able to grow when nourished by rich soil, water and sun. The shape and formation of the tree is where the organic process takes over and where unlimited potential for creativity happens. None the less without the necessary elements incorporated into its structure the tree would not grow. How you choose to grow and shape yourself is equally as unlimited and creative in its potential.

Being creative does not mean that you don’t have a structure, quite the contrary. Growing your creativity takes a structure consisting of rules and goals to nurture within you as well. Creativity without structure leads to chaos and rarely produces anything of great value or consistent quality. Every great artist has a set structure; a time to paint, a time to mold, a time to work, and a set goal or uncontrollable passion for the work to be accomplished.

This applies in the business world as well. Structure consisting of rules and goals is needed to grow a business. Without such a structure a business may get off the ground with lots of good luck, but few if any will get very far without focusing on rules and goals. With a structure in place, creativity will emerge. The types of businesses available for people to start are only limited by their imagination.

Creating your own creativity structure consisting of rules and goals is a good way to start the process of reaching for your full potential, just like the great oak tree. 

The following is a list of creativity rules that Sister Corita Kent of the Immaculate Heart Art College has produced for her students to follow and can act as inspiration for you to create your own set of creativity rules.

1. Find a place you trust and then try trusting it for a while.
2. General duties of a student: pull everything out of your teacher; pull everything out of your fellow students.
3. General duties of a teacher: pull everything out of your students.
4. Consider everything an experiment.
5. Be self-disciplined. This means finding someone wise or smart and choosing to follow them. To be disciplined is to follow in a good way. To be self-disciplined is to follow in a better way.
6. Nothing is a mistake. There is no win and no fail. There is only make.
7. The only rule is work. If you work it will lead to something. It’s the people who do all of the work all the time who eventually catch on to things.
8. Don’t try to create and analyze at the same time. They’re different processes.
9. Be happy whenever you can manage it. Enjoy yourself. It’s lighter than you think.
10. “We’re breaking all of the rules. Even our own rules. And how do we do that? By leaving plenty of room for X quantities.” – John Cage.

Helpful hints: Always be around. Come or go to everything always. Go to classes. Read anything you can get your hands on. Look at movies carefully often. Save everything, it might come in handy later.

What kind of structure and rules do you live by and how does your creativity manifest itself?

When you let it, Creativity Rules!

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember that the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

Have you ever noticed that the more you work to not be like someone – your father, your mother, an associate, an artist – or something – angry, eager, competitive, or anything else you can think of, the more you become like that? Sometimes the pull and tension can be so powerful that you have to cry “uncle” and finally embrace that which you are pushing back and away from.

“It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.” 
Desiderius Erasmus

Take for instance my reluctance to focus energy on being a Visual Facilitator, someone who utilizes visual stimulus to accelerate the realization of goals, objectives, shared vision, and new thinking.

I am very comfortable living in a Grand Lake sanctuary and I find it hard to stay away from this sacred spot for very long. When my wife Kristen and I first moved here my focus was on embracing myself as an artist and writing my first book, the inspiration for what would become the What Box? Column in the Chronicle of Grand Lake.

Up to this point in my life I had found it hard to embrace the reality that I was an artist. Having spent the previous five years being a CEO of an Internet company there was no way that I was going to think of myself as “a flaky artist.” Since I had spent all my life working with artists and had been in touch with how the general public felt and thought about artists, I was not keen on being recognized as one.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”  e.e. cummings

I worked hard to let go of my fears of being an artist and being perceived as one. As time passed I became more comfortable with creating and experimenting with different art forms. For the fist time in my life I embraced the fact that “being me” meant that I was an artist. The spirit of Grand Lake took hold and I awakened to the joy I felt in being an artist, painting community murals, showing art in Grove, getting involved in art promotion, teaching art, and sharing the creativity challenges that I faced in my writings.

I was starting to really get used to this lifestyle. “I am artist!”

Past chapters of my life were about entrepreneurialism and Visually Facilitating people, organizations, start-ups, and corporations through strategic visioning/planning sessions. I was not always the best at this kind of work. It took hours of practice and work experiences for me to hone my spelling skills, since I would misspell quite a bit, distracting the participants, or even worse not being able to guide the group dynamics of the room. This is hard work and takes tremendous energy to move people to a new place. I was more than happy to have let this chapter of my life go and instead focus my energy on being an artist.

The requests for my work as a Visual Facilitator increased and I would push them away and let them know in clear terms, “I do not do that kind of work anymore.” The more I would push away the more the requests would come in. I was frustrated and ready to fight for my right to be an artist and live exclusively on Grand Lake.

What are you pushing back in your life?

My art was improving, my teaching was getting better, and creativity levels were at all time highs. Wahoo! The Grand Lake effect had taken hold and I decided to selectively take on Visual Facilitation during this time. The more I did this work the more I was pushing back and at the same time the better I was getting. I was frustrated. I did not want to have to go back to the world of travel, project management, deadlines, ego’s, politics, and general hard work. Grand Lake time was my priority.

And the more I would fight my Visual Facilitation work the more it would come at me.

I focused on my life’s purpose of “Making a Positive Difference and Show Casing what is Possible.” The more I focused, the more I realized that I was fighting “Being Me,” a Visual Facilitator AND an artist. At first I did not like this realization. I was fighting it, and yet there it was right in front of my face. You are a Visual Facilitator; embrace it, nurture it, and grow it. I realized that “Being Me” has no limits.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”  ~e.e. cummings

“Being You” has no limits too!

It was when I gave in, embraced my Visual Facilitation skills, and focused this energy on my life’s purpose that I started to become more balanced, more focused, more clear, and more energized.

What does “Being You” look like?

In no way am I saying this kind of effort is easy or without its transformations. It took me almost 15 years to finally start the process of embracing my Visual Facilitation skills. I am still learning and opening new doors of possibility.

You have the same potential. You can create whatever you want in your life. You can do even more with your life than you are doing at the present time.

“Be what you are.  This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” Julius Charles Hare

What do you want to create in your life? “Being You” is a good first step. 

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember that the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.