What Box?^®

Okay, do me a favor right now. No matter where you are.

Close your eyes and breathe in. Take the time to hold the air in your lungs and then breathe out, letting go of any negative thoughts or feelings. Let the air out all the way until you have no more air in your lungs. Now breathe in again, this time focusing on positive energy and love. Continue breathing in, focusing your mind on the positive, and breathing out, focusing your mind on the negative, for at least ten times with your eyes closed.

Now, how do you feel after your focused breathing exercise?

In all likelihood you are more relaxed, your muscles are less tense, your heart is beating slower, your mind is calmed and you are more energized. Focused breathing is an important creativity tool that will enable you to gain greater focus and clarity in your life.

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Carl Jung

Living, working, and playing have a way of taking over our lives. I know that when I most need to take the time to breathe I don’t. That is because I am so caught up in what I am doing, what I’m about to do, and in most cases what I need to be doing next, that I start going faster and faster. This is exactly when I need to remember to focus on my breathing and take the steps to increase my energy.

Here is the thing. When I am able to catch myself in the “doing mode” I am able to focus on my breathing. I close my eyes and breathe in and breathe out and, just like magic, I am calmer, more efficient, and more effective. This new found clarity allows me to take in what is happening and create better results in the here and now, and as a result, I am in a better mood and work more effectively with the people around me.

“I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now–unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past or the imagined future.”

Ken Keyes, Jr.

Being aware of your breathing is not a new idea. Throughout history wise sages, shamans, and spiritual leaders have understood the power of focused breathing. They knew that one could live longer, be calmer, increase energy, and create greater meaning in your life just by taking the time to learn how to focus ones breathing. Today, we hyper humans don’t even think about the impact that our breathing has on our lives. We continue to try to do more, create more, and collect more, all the while not realizing that our breathing can impact the results of these efforts, and in many cases, for the better.

How often do you think about your breathing? 

Breathing is one of the most powerful ways we have to change the way we are thinking or feeling about something. It can actually change the chemistry of our brain, causing it to slow down and affect the way we behave, react, and respond to any given situation. Learning to breathe more effectively will increase your energy levels. The more energy you have the more power you have. When your energy is increased and focused, you are more likely to achieve your goals in life. Your breath is connected to the life force of the universe. When you learn to focus on your breathing you become more aware of this life force, which results in increased energy and power.

Next time you find yourself stressed out about a job you are working on, or running so fast you do not know which way to go, take the time to breathe in the positive and breathe out the negative. Like most of what is written in What Box? it takes practice and patience to learn how to breathe. It is worth the effort and the rewards of greater energy and increased power will be yours.

Let me know what you think.

Remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

Our lives are filled with people that we trust. Our lives are also filled with people that we don’t trust. Trust has the power to move mountains. Trust can support you to achieve what it is you want to create in your life on the flip side lack of trust can drive you into the ground. Surrounding yourself with trustworthy people increases your abilities to succeed in life.

Who do you trust?

Is it your parents, your neighbor, your business associates, your elected officials, your boss, your dog, or is it a good friend? Trust is such an important aspect in our lives, and yet how often do we really think about who it is we trust?

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” Albert Einstein

Attending a Steven M.R. Covey workshop last week in Tulsa I was reminded of how important Trust is in our lives. If we trust and people reciprocate that trust with us things have a tendency to run smoothly and the reality of anything being possible is within our grasp. On the other hand, if we find ourselves in a situation were there is limited or no trust things slow down and a more protective and fear based environment is created.

Who do you trust?

Here is even a more difficult question to ask yourself. Do you trust you?

Do you trust your own decisions? Do you trust that you will succeed in life? Do you trust your instincts? Do you trust yourself?

“Self trust is where we learn the foundational principle that enables us to establish and sustain trust at all levels. That principle is credibility, or believability. This is where we ask ourselves, Am I credible? Am I believable? Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?” Steven M. R. Covey, The Speed of Trust

Trusting ourselves may be one of the more challenging things to achieve in our life. We second guess ourselves, we over-think our decisions, and in general lack the trust in ourselves that can get us through difficult and challenging situations. If we cannot trust ourselves who can we trust.

We must uncover that part inside of or ourselves to discover the place where we can trust ourselves. The outcome of trusting ourselves is the ability to trust others. It is only when we go inside of ourselves that we unlock the unlimited potential to positively impact the outside world.

Today trust is becoming rarer and rarer. Go ahead and count the people you trust right now. In all likelihood it is not as big a number as you might think.

We are jaded by our politicians who day after day break down our ability to trust their leadership. We are jaded by our business leaders who look out for themselves before looking out for others. We are jaded by the news we see on television each night and in many cases we are jaded by our own friends. Trust is a rare commodity indeed.

Who do you trust?

The decisions and actions you take today have the ability to increase the trust people have in you, or they have the ability to break the trust people have in you. It is important that you are thoughtful about what you do each and every day.

“The moment there is suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he does becomes tainted.” Mahatma Gandhi

It can take you twenty years to build up the trust of someone and then it can take you a few seconds to erase that hard earned trust. “Think before you walk” my Grandfather would always say.

This is hard stuff and yet it can make all the difference the world. It can be hard to believe that a simple act like “trust” can have such a powerful impact on our lives.

Trust can help you or hurt you. First, work to be a trust worthy person yourself, and then be open and trusting with others. When you do a new and wondrous world will open up and the power of trust will be yours.

Who do you trust?

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
I have a difficult time when I plan for a particular outcome and the end result is completely different. What can I do to detach from my expectations?
Disappointed in Zena

Dear Disappointed,
Expectations have the great potential to let you down. When you project your expectations on any given situation without communicating or agreeing on outcomes you run the risk of being let down. The best solution I have found to achieving successful outcomes to any given situation is to clearly communicate what it is I am expecting as a final outcome. Ask the question, “What is our agreed upon goal and outcome?” Gain buy-in and make sure that everyone repeats the agreed upon outcome. It is when you leave things unsaid and assume outcomes that expectations run the greatest risk of causing damage. Once expectations have agreement it is time to let go and know that like so many things in life whatever it is you are working towards will in all likelihood not turn out the way you would like. Very rarely does anything happen the way one would like. Accept that everything happens for a reason and look for the opportunity in the challenge. Let go your expectations and focus on uncovering the opportunity in the chaos. You can do it.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.