What Box?^®

No matter how hard I work towards taking the High Road there are those times when I slip and fall into unproductive patterns. Sometimes I just get so caught up in my emotions that I don’t even know what I have done until the moment passes and then upon reflection realize that I have taken the “low road.”

Last week I found myself in a situation of taking the “low road.” After of few moments had passed I realized what I was saying. It seemed right at the time and yet after I took in the negative effects of what I had said I became painfully aware that my choice had the potential to cause unproductive results. The moment that I reacted to my emotions they took over and caused me to say things that although truthful were not productive or positive.

“True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.” Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

It wasn’t until the next morning that I registered the potential impact of my words and the emotions that they communicated. I was attempting to right a wrong with the intention of making a point. I got my point across, but at what cost? Where was I going with this? Was it worth a fight? I started to question myself and realized how much work remains if I am ever going to get close to reaching my full potential.

It was during this reflective time that I thought about a piece I wrote a few years back entitled Perfectly Imperfect. I dug through my files, found the piece, and read it to myself. I was definitely acting in a way that was perfectly imperfect and could be improved in a big way. My challenge was not to let it get me down, to learn from it, and to identify a way to go back and repair what I had done, to take the High Road and create a bridge of potential instead of continuing down the “low road” which inevitably leads to the path of destruction.

“In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.” Winston Churchill

How do we remain on the High Road even in times of frustration and anger?

One way to take the High Road is to remain present in the moment and not let our “auto pilot” take over, that part of our self that is unaware and does not think before words are said that can be harmful or destructive. Being present and aware of our state of being is a sure fire way to come closer to avoiding taking the “low road.” At least if you do choose to take the “low road” you will do so consciously.

“Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.” Ira Gassen

Another way to take the High Road is to not respond to people when your emotions are running high. Emotions can cause us to react in ways that we would not normally react if we are in a calm relaxed state. Our emotions can be one of our greatest strengths and one of our greatest enemies. Gaining a greater level of emotional awareness and intelligence plays a critical factor in whether we take the High Road or the “low road.”

The bottom line is that this is hard work. It doesn’t matter how many times I write about it, talk about it, teach it, or act upon it I still slip up. And I think this is what has gotten me so flustered. I have had to remind myself that embarking on a journey of self- discovery where I have committed to be the best I can be and to make a positive difference, I will slip up along the way. Being patient with myself when I do is very difficult, to say the least, because I am my own worst critic. Not to live up to what I write about, talk about, and teach is very painful. I needed to get to the point where I could acknowledge what I know to be true which is that I have to be patient with myself. I need to remember that I am only human, that I am not perfect, that humans make mistakes, and that I need to forgive myself. We all do when we are confronted with making a mistake and not living up to what we expect of ourselves.

“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying… that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” Alexander Pope, in Swift, Miscellanies

The challenges that are presented from taking the High Road and the lessons that can be learned have the potential to become powerful tools for learning allowing personal growth to take place. I have a hunch that taking the High Road will present challenges for me the rest of my life. No one said that life would be easy that is for sure.

Which road are you taking?

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
Your article last week, “Carving Your Name”, stimulated a lot of thinking for me. You’re right. It’s hard to think about dying. It does give me some hope though that I can leave something of meaning to my children. Where do I begin?
Pensive in Disney

Dear Pensive,
The number one way to impact your children is through the words you use and the actions you take. Make sure to share with your children that they can do and be anything that they choose to be, that anything is possible. When your actions are reflecting your words they will have greater meaning. Make sure that you are walking the talk and live the words you speak. Like this weeks What Box? there will be times you make mistakes and slip. Make sure that you acknowledge these mistakes and learn from them sharing your lessons with your children. Never ever give up and stay positive. You can do it! Let me know how things are progressing.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

Everyone one of us has more in common than we realize. We all have to eat food to keep our selves nourished. We all have to drink water to keep our selves hydrated. And we all have to breathe in the air to keep our bodies alive. There is another element to living we have in common with everyone and everything on this planet. We all have to die one day.

This is a very unpleasant thought for many of us that is for sure. And yet at this moment in time there is nothing we can do to prevent ourselves from passing away and leaving the planet we now call home. Everyone will have the experience of dying some day.

Yet, how many of us think about the kind of legacy we want to leave behind when our life comes to an end.

What do you want people to remember about your life?

“We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.” Richard P. Feynman

Do you want them to remember that you worked hard everyday; that you had the most stuff, the biggest boat; that you were one of the most giving people they knew, that you contributed to the betterment of your community; that you were always there for someone in need?

What do you want people to remember about your life when you are gone?

One thing is for sure. Time is ticking and your actions today will be what you are remembered for when you are gone.

The challenge is to face the realization head on and to make each moment you are alive count for something, something of value and meaning.

Do this for me right now. Stop reading this version of What Box? and close your eyes. Breathe in and let your imagination run as you ask yourself this question, “How do I want to be remembered when I am gone?”

“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.” Charles H. Spurgeon

What did you imagine? Did you imagine that people loved you and were grateful for the time that they had with you; that you were a world traveler; that you were kind of heart and supportive to others; that you were involved, engaged, and created value?

Was what you imagined representative of what you are doing today? If so wonderful! Keep doing what you are doing and do more of it. If not then now is the time to re-evaluate your actions and start paying attention to the life you are living.

When your life ends, there is nothing you can do to change how you spent your time when you were alive. Nothing. You can only impact the kind of life you live while you are alive and create the kinds of memories people will take with them when you are gone.

Are you living the kind of life you want to live, the kind of life you would like to be remembered for when you are gone?

Ok, ok. I realize this is not easy at all. I constantly have to ask myself these same kinds of questions and evaluate my actions as they relate to them. I fall down and get back up and fall down again.

If you want to live a life without regrets, knowing that when your time comes that you lived your life to its fullest, then now is the time to really focus your energy on being the best you can be.

As time passes and I realize how short life really is I become very aware of the inevitable end of my life. When my time comes, I want people to celebrate life and share in the stories of possibility that inspire others to live their lives to the fullest.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

I would like music to spread from one end of Grand Lake to the other with flags flowing with messages of hope and unlimited possibility. I want to have fireworks lighting up the sky along with sky writers spelling out words that cause everyone to think differently.

I want people to remember a person who lived life to it’s fullest, giving back as much as one person can give; that the relationships created over a lifetime had great meaning in my life and that I supported those who were touched to reach for something more.

This is my vision for how I want to be remembered at the end of my life. How do you want to be remembered?

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”
Og Mandino

The time is now to start living the your life the way you want to be remembered.

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

There are very few things that influence us more than our environment. The places we live, work and play, and the people we interact with influence who we are and who we are becoming. 

Yet how many of us really think about the kind of environment we are in? 

Some environments are healthy and encourage personal growth and increased creativity. Some environments don’t challenge us at all and we become complacent, reinforcing lifelong patterns that have kept us where we are and have prevented us from becoming who we can be. Still other environments can be toxic and unhealthy leading us into a spiral of difficulties. The types of environments people are creating for themselves are as endless as the stars over Grand Lake on a crystal clear night.

And here is the rub. You create your environment. The type of environment you are experiencing at this moment has been created by you. You have a choice about the kind of environment you want to create for yourself. You can create anything you want in your life. The choice is yours.

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.”   Edwin Markham

What kind of environment do you want to create and support you on your life’s journey? What does your ideal environment look like? Who are you interacting with in your new environment? How does this desired environment make you feel? What is holding you back from creating your ideal environment?

One of the keys to creating the type of environment you most desire is to engage with those people who have already created the kind of environment you want to create for yourself. Start by hanging around with what I like to call “Eagles”, those people who are living in the type of environment you want to create. Start with small steps and go to networking events and conferences where these people might be hanging out. Start a business that caters to the type of people you want to emulate. Showcase your passion and start building relationships that support you in creating and growing your ideal environment.

Who are the “Eagles” you want to surround yourself with? Make a list and go hang out with these “Eagles.” 

Here is the thing. No matter how you cut the mustard, this type of work is going to take a lifetime of patience and energy. The hard work is in never-ever-giving-up. It is never too late to consciously create the type of environment that will support you on your life’s journey.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”   Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have found through the experience of creating and living in many different environments throughout my life, that when you are in a supportive, positive, engaging, challenging, and creative environment you can accelerate the creation of your own ideal environment. I have to be aware every day and consciously work at the steps necessary to support the creation of my ideal environment.

Unavoidably, I will find myself in negative environments that drive me crazy. My challenge when I find myself in these types of environments is to identify the positives that are there and focus my energy on the creation of positive solutions.

Your ideal environment may change as the barnacles on your back grow over time. The environment you want to create when you are 18 may be a lot different than when you are 40. The changing environments that you experience will enable you to have a greater understanding of the type of environment you will need to support your personal growth and a greater awareness of your purpose in life.

You have the power to change, modify, alter, and create the type of environment you want to be living in.

What kind of environment do you want to create in your life? An environment that will enable you to become the best you can be?

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” E.E. Cummings

The choice is yours!

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

The Power of Visual Thinking

“Your imagination may be one of the most potent creativity tools you have. Whenever you imagine something you want to create in your life you are actually taking the steps to make that imagined visualization a reality.”

“Your imagination strengthens your creative abilities and supports you to achieve what you want to create in your life.”

“The challenge is for all of us to gain the courage to discover a “vision” for our lives and for that of our community, our state, our nation, and the world that is beyond what we can currently see, a vision that improves life for all of us, for the whole system.”

The Courage to be Creative

“Creativity comes when we view any given situation with a fresh and different perspective, think outside-of-the-box. One of the greatest keys for us to more fully access and utilize our creative potential is to have a positive and open attitude.”

“If you are stuck on something you are trying to figure out and cannot get anything going, walk away from it. Take a break or do something totally different. One of the great secrets of creative genius is to let it go, noodle it, sleep on it, and let the natural process of creativity work for you.”

“By taking leaps of faith and stepping over the edge into the unknown we stretch our visible and hidden skills to new limits and promote exercising our creative potential.”

If It Were Easy Everyone Would Do It

“The challenge for all of us is to learn how to focus our limited time and energy on those things that positively empower us and those around us.”

“Just a few minutes of peace and quiet can help calm the soul and relax the mind, allowing us to open up to new and inspiring thoughts.”

“Focus on the positive, focus on your passions, focus on making a difference, focus on being the best you can be, focus on living your dreams, and remember to be patient with yourself.”

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.