What Box?^®

How many of us are looking for more meaning and purpose in our lives?

How many of us are just going through the motions in our daily lives?

How many of us are willing to go through the journey to discover our greater purpose?

NOW, is the perfect time to start the process of kicking butt with your life! You can begin by thinking about the kind of future you want to create for yourself. I truly believe you can create, in your life, whatever it is you desire the most. Thinking and visualizing positive thoughts about whatever it is you most desire will, in time, create that which you think about and focus energy on.

Ringing in the New Year is an extremely powerful time in my life. It is the time of year where Kristen, my wife, and I take the time to review our successes and failures, to take in the lessons learned and then apply them to our updated life design.

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious effort.” Henry David Thoreau

I started the process of brainstorming and visualizing personal goals and objectives on large pieces of paper at a very early age. Developing this kind of visual history collection of my life has become an important tool to support an understanding about how my time and energy is spent working towards what I desire the most.

Here is how it works:

Either by yourself or with your significant other/friend, find a couple of big pieces of paper – a paper grocery bag can work well. You may want to tape some paper together to make the surface bigger. Kristen, my wife, and I use a 4’ x 14’ piece of paper when we go through this process.

Step One

In the center of the paper write/draw “Creating My Life, My Way, Today!” If you are working with another person, have them do the same on a separate piece of paper.

Step Two

Randomly write/draw words that categorize your life activities and actions. Make sure to allow plenty of space so you can add additional details around each of your categories. Here are some examples of categories that I like to use:

o    Family/Friends
o    Career/Business
o    Health/Physical
o    Finance
o    Home Environment
o    Community
o    Fun/Recreation
o    Personal Growth

Step Three

After you have developed your categories, focus your energy and attention on each category, one at a time. Write down your ideal goals and outcomes for that category in the coming year. Take your time, writing as many aspirations as you can think of. The key is not to over think your idea. Usually the first thoughts you think of are what you truly desire. Use the same process for the remaining categories.

Step Four

Compare your Life Creating Visual with your significant other or good friend. Have each person share their entire visual one at a time. Next, start looking for the areas where you can support one another in achieving each other’s goals for the coming year. Make sure to talk about the challenges and success factors to achieving the goals and outcomes. Stay realistic, setting yourself up for success instead of failure.

Step Five

When you have your Life Creating Visual completed post it in a place where you can see it every day. The wall into the bathroom, your bedroom mirror, anywhere you visit and spend time thinking. Just post it!

I know what some of you are thinking right now, “This is going to be a lot of hard work and take up a bunch of my time.” I feel the same way at times and I just don’t want to go through the hassle to do this kind of personal growth work. Guess what? I still do it, and then after all is said and done, I wonder why I even hesitated at all. Getting over the hump to create the life you want takes effort. In the end nothing could be greater than living the life you create each and every day.

Time is running out! How are you going to create the rest of your life?

Let me know what you think?

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

One of my favorite ways to spend time is by throwing and attending parties. Who doesn’t love a great party? I think I must have gained this passion for parties from my parents. They would throw parties all the time, and on special occasions they would take me with them to the gatherings their friends were hosting.

Some of my greatest memories are of Holiday parties with good friends, family, and business associates. Holiday parties seem to have a way of elevating the conversation and connections, this holiday season has been no exception.

Kristen, my wife, and I have had parties scheduled all over the country and gratefully have been able to attended most of them. Life is good! Yet, one party stands out from all the rest. Like so many things in life, truly memorable parties are rare and something to hold close to the heart. Some even hold the lessons of life.

Last week, Kristen and I were headed to Oklahoma City from Dallas for holiday parties with members of The Oklahoma Academy and Leadership Oklahoma (LOK). Both organizations are near and dear to our hearts and the anticipation of meeting up with friends old and new was energizing us.

The Oklahoma Academy party was held in Bricktown. Hanging out in old renovated buildings always inspires me. As a new Board member of The Oklahoma Academy I was being introduced to many new people and learning more about business and community endeavors taking place all over the state. Anything that is supporting Oklahoma to reach her full potential fires me up.

At some point Kristen grabbed me to let me know it was time to head out to the Leadership Oklahoma party in Nichols Hills. This was our first visit to the Nichols Hills area, and let me tell you they have some pretty amazing homes in that neck of the Oklahoma woods. As it started to get darker and the holiday lights started to glow we navigated through the streets to the LOK party.

As we pulled up to the valet parking we were in awe of the lights decorating the house where the party was being held. As we proceeded up the red carpet and walked into the house it seemed like everything had been covered with lights. We were greeted at the door by the host and dropped of our coats before filling out our name badges. The Lake Bum would have loved this party because before I could finish my badge I had a drink in hand. The formalities taken care of Kristen and I started walking around the house meeting and greeting people.

We headed to the food extravaganza with a couple we had just met. What a spread! I mean these people could be voted “the hosts with the most.” With another drink in hand we started exploring the house and met an architect learning about some of the newer projects taking place in Oklahoma City. Having an architecture background, conversation about the technological advances of the industry always interests me. At some point Kristen asked him, “What class were you in?” He responded with, “What do you mean? That is a strange question.” Kristen said, “Since this is an LOK party I thought maybe you had graduated from one of the classes.” He said, “Oh, that would be my wife. She is a graduate of Leadership Oklahoma City.” His next words were classic, “I think you may be at the wrong party. This is a Theta Sorority party.”

“What?” My jaw dropped. I mean we had been at this party for over 40 minutes and were interacting with everyone like they were old friends. I said, “Are you sure?” He said, “I am pretty sure. Don’t worry about it. Just say you are a graduate from the University of Virginia and no one will know.” When we said we had to leave for the party we were late getting to the party we are supposed to be at he continued his attempt to persuade us to stay. Kristen and I were laughing so hard and could hardly believe that we were at the wrong party.

As we started heading for the door, a new friend came up to us and said that they had someone they want to introduce us to. We tried to be polite and let them know we were at the wrong party. They only laughed and said, ”That’s ok, stay at this one.” We continued our way to the front door where we were chased down by the host who attempted to convince us to hang out at her party. When she admitted that she had crashed the wrong party once before, we all laughed and waved goodbye.

On the red carpet on our way out things did not get much easier for us as we attempted to get to the LOK party. A wonderful lady grabbed my arm and said, “Where are you two going? The party is inside. Did someone upset you?” We explained our embarrassing situation and she said, “Oh don’t worry. You are welcome at this party and can be my guests.” We gave her a hug, thanked her for her kindness, and said, ”We have friends waiting for us who are, in all likelihood, wondering where the heck we are.”

The valets where laughing at us as they ran back for our car.

When we finally did reach the LOK party it had been over an hour since the party had started. Because we are usually the first to arrive at a party, our LOK friends looked at us like “what happened?” As we shared our story they stared at us with disbelief. “How could we have been at the other party so long and not noticed that it wasn’t the LOK party?” We couldn’t believe it either. It was what it was, and we laughed at the fact that we were able to attend three parties in one night.

During the drive home and upon further reflection the one thing that stands out is our ability to fit in and almost instantly be embraced by total and complete strangers. Our ability to blend into any environment and to go for relationships is a very powerful way to win new friends. Kristen and I asked the people we met what they did for a living. We focused our attention on what interested them and built our conversation on their interests. We engaged their passions and promoted their ideas.

This party experience has only reinforced for me the power of being positive: being open, genuinely interested, and engaging people’s passions. People want to know that others care about their interests and encouragement to achieve their goals. When you do the same, you will find that, like Will Rogers, you too will have only friends in the world.

If we can do it so can you. How are you engaging the passions of others?

Let me know what you think.

Remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

In the centuries prior to the spread of American Culture throughout the world our elders were considered to be the wisest and most respected people in the communities in which they lived. They were revered for their knowledge and wisdom, wisdom gained through the experiences of surviving their years living on the earth. Their achievements were understood as an outcome of years of picking themselves up and dusting themselves off. These heroes had experienced many of life’s arrows of wisdom being shot into their backs. These wise elders were sought after by people in their communities in order that others would learn from them their wisdom. This meant that many would be less likely to make the same mistakes the elders had made or perhaps even avoid going through the sometimes painful and time consuming process of “reinventing the wheel.”

What happened along the way to progress?

Today we tend to retire the oldest and wisest people in our communities to human dumpsites like the ones you find in Florida. You know, the high-rise retirement living communities that hundreds of thousands of retires live in. In Los Angeles they have a retirement community called Leisure Land, or as my Grandfather used to call it “Seizure Land”. Some people when they hit sixty find that their work lives are winding down, and their goal becomes to retire and to do as little as possible. Worse yet, many families consider their elders to be burdens on their lifestyle and have them put into rest homes where in many cases they actually waste away as they lose a sense of meaning for their lives.

With life expectancy increasing a growing number of people are beginning to rethink what it means to “retire”.

Many businesses looking for the latest and greatest talent rarely look towards their sixty to seventy year old candidates. In many cases it is thought that they might come with too much “baggage” and would not be capable of thinking on the innovative level that a business needs to be competitive. Culturally there is a difference between generations, quite possibly more than ever before, but the one thing that these wise people of age have over their younger counterparts is wisdom, wisdom that has been honed over years of trial and error, education, career, travel, and more.

Each day we lose people with great wisdom who have moved into the later years of their lives, people who are not considered to have any relevant value in our evolving world. With over half the working population up for retirement in the next five years it becomes important for us to re-think our relationship with our elders, the wise people of our society.

So how does one gain wisdom?

It takes being hit, nicked, or impaled by many of the Arrows of Wisdom that fly through our lives. Wisdom developed through a lifetime of experiences, insights, reflections, introspections, attempts, hardships, moments of wonder, challenges, and inspirations. It is important to understand that wisdom is different from the standardized intelligence tests we have all come to know and take over the years. Wisdom is generally considered to be a trait that is developed through the dynamic experience of living life, and not taught through traditional education methods. It should also be noted that the use of common sense is one of the best ways to make wise decisions on a regular basis and becomes a proving ground for the generation of increased wisdom.

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” Mark Twain

Our American Culture has limited the value and importance of wisdom. In particular, we put wisdom and intuition in the same right brain bucket, which is not easy to explain or understand. Logic and the left-brain are the standard for our culture. It is just easier to understand and explain. This is one of the reasons why breaking out-of-the-box is such a great challenge for people. The acquisition of wisdom is actually taught out of us during our traditional school days, and then only perpetuated as we continue down our career paths. People who are able to embrace their intuition and apply the wisdom they have learned are the exception, not the rule, and in general these folk’s skills are in high demand.

How different would our world be if we were using wisdom with the decisions that are being made today, decisions that affect us not only locally, but also globally? Wisdom is a sense, an ability to foresee the consequences of decisions that are being made today. Wisdom looks towards increasing the positive long-term impact of our decisions and how they can contribute to the common good of communities. With globalization and technological advances happening at an ever-increasing rate, more than ever we need to leverage our ability to acquire and use wisdom to help guide us into the future.

“I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be.” Thomas Jefferson

Gaining wisdom can be painful, because it usually means that we are learning experientially. These “arrows of wisdom” hold the potential to inspire very powerful learning. Learning gained through the process of overcoming challenging and difficult situations. The benefits of gaining and acting on wisdom developed on your own or through interactions with your elders will support you to excel in today’s highly competitive world.

Now more than ever we all need to harness the power of self taught wisdom along and the wisdom harvested from past generations. We all have the ability to expand our wisdom. With growing wisdom comes power, the power to make better decisions, the power to help others, the power to reach your full potential, and the power to avoid difficulties.

Opportunities to learn from the arrows of wisdom that are thrown, shot, and fall on us never ends. The longer you live the more wisdom you will have to utilize in your own life and share with others. The amount of wisdom you are able to gain is only limited by your ability to create the kinds of experiences that encourage the arrows of wisdom to fly.

Let me know what you think.

Remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

General George Patton, said, “If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn’t thinking.”

Why is it that we are raised to think so much alike?

How can we learn to Think Differently? To think for of ourselves?

Each of us has our own unique gifts and an ability to see the world from our own point of view. These gifts and talents along with an ability to think for ourselves are needed to support the whole, our family, our community, our nation, our world. We all have the potential to offer our thoughts and gifts to influence the well-being of the whole.

We are not asked to give another person’s gifts or insights that we are not easily capable of contributing. We are only asked to give our own gifts and unique perspectives. This we can do.  The world needs these from all of us and we need each other. We need to learn how to value our own gifts and each other’s gifts so that we can learn to work together in a complementary and cooperative way for the benefit of our whole living system.

The gifts that each of us has to offer is our ability to see the way things are from our unique perspective. We cannot see the total reality with which we are faced with, but we can definitely see it form our point of view. Our perspective added to that of others contributes to a clear picture. It’s like putting together a puzzle. If a piece is missing, there is no way to really see the whole picture.

How can we learn to be open to different people’s perspectives and see a larger picture?

When we are not thinking for ourselves and sharing our unique gifts we loose our creativity, our ability to innovate and, worse yet, we don’t contribute our piece to the puzzle. When everyone is thinking alike we tend not to question things. We follow like sheep. We succumb to our fears, fabricated or real. A homogenized world is a very boring place in which to live. Maybe this is why depression and other psychiatric disorders are reaching epidemic proportions.

In order to Think Differently and share our gifts we need to let go our fears of the unknown, what people will think. That fear, for many of us, is not receiving the approval of others for what we think and share. We need to believe in something greater than ourselves so that we feel free to express what we are thinking. Thinking Differently means that we will make mistakes as we take risks to search for a greater understanding of what is possible. Thinking Differently means questioning everything and not being afraid to express those questions. Thinking Differently means letting go of judgment and being open to new possibilities, new perspectives, and greater diversity. Thinking Differently is definitely not easy. But it is worth the effort.

What is holding you back from Thinking Differently?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create.