What Box?^®

You know, my favorite gift is the gift of love. How about you?

Love warms me. It makes me tingle all over, inspires me, causes me to blush, gives me confidence, comforts me, and inevitably brings my total attention to that exact moment of wonder.

Love is such a powerful force in our lives. Love is what we desire the most and in many cases is what we receive the least of.

It is not hard to understand why, as humans, giving and receiving love is not one of our major focuses. This is the deal, love does not cost us any monetary resources and yet has the power to give and receive more than all of Fort Knox worth of returns.

What holds us back from giving and receiving love on a regular basis?

One of my favorite ways to express my love for those people in my life is through hugging. I know your thinking right now, oh great a hug, isn’t that a bit girly for a man?

Whenever I feel a strong unconditional kind of love for someone I just can’t help myself, I have to hug them. This has gotten me into way more uncomfortable situations than one can count. The thing is that it is a very natural way for me to express love for people in my life.

Over time the people that I have shared this unconditional love with start to feel the love and will actually wonder why I am not hugging them whenever I see them and don’t hug them. Got to love that.

The pace of our lives is such that we don’t allow ourselves the time to slow it down and feel the love, much less share it.

Nothing could be more important in your live than to share your love and give it away. You can do it!

Did any of you read or see the news the other day about people giving away “free hugs” to anyone walking down the street. Their idea is that everyone could use a little love and hey, it doesn’t cost anything. What a great example of people wanting to give people the power of love and to complete strangers. You don’t have to be so extreme share your love.

This Thanksgiving muster the energy and intention of giving away your love to those you care about. Nothing could be more important or rewarding.

My brainwashing started when I was a kid growing up in California. I was brainwashed into believing that I was born on the greatest spot on earth; that there was no place that could compare to California, from the scenic beauty of the state, to the weather, to the abundant educational and career opportunities. As I grew older and traveled around the world I continued to be brainwashed as more and more people confirmed that California was the greatest spot on the planet and how lucky I was to have been born and to live there.

“The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.”  Arnold H. Glasow

I fell for this brainwashing hook, line, and sinker. I even started feeling that I was more privileged than others because I was raised and living in California. This brainwashing finally came to end when I started living full time in Zena on Grand Lake, Oklahoma. Further traveling around the region and exploring the surrounding states opened my eyes to how brainstormed I had been. California certainly has many unique qualities, but so do each of the other 50 states in our country. In all reality, there are many exceptional places to live, not only in this country but all over the world.

It is easy to think that you live in the greatest place on the planet until you have an opportunity to visit and explore other cities, states, and countries. Since I have been able to take a leap of faith and move from the comfort of my familiar surroundings in California, to discover what a great place Zena is to live, I have had the opportunity to reflect upon how many ways I have been brainwashed.

How many ways? Let me count. We are brainwashed daily by the media. We are brainwashed by our schools and all their rules. We are brainwashed by the power of the New York Stock Exchange. We are brainwashed by the leaders of our world. We are brainwashed by our leaders in Washington. We are brainwashed with an avalanche of advertising. And we are brainwashed by the communities we live in, both physically and virtually.

My challenge, your challenge, and the world’s challenge, is to break through all this brainwashing to a place of independent thought and creativity. No small task that is for sure.

“Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”  
John F. Kennedy

We want to believe in the decisions we make. We want to be right. We want to be comfortable. And we want to avoid making mistakes. Discovering that you are being brainwashed into a belief that might not be real means taking risks, putting yourself out there, and stretching your understanding of our increasingly complex world.

We let ourselves become brainwashed because it is easier, it is more comfortable, and, in many cases, it allows us to release some of our responsibilities in life. To take a risk for independent expression means that people might not want to hear what you have to say. It might mean that people will not agree with you. If this happens to you when you are expressing your unique and powerful thoughts then you will know you are right where you need to be.

If everyone is agreeing with you then you are not being stretched. You are not being challenged to re-think your opinions. You are not being all you can be.  The goal for all of us, the goal for you, is to become all that you can be, to reach your full potential, and to make a difference in this world.

The choice is yours. Taking the risk to step out on a limb and to be different than others and to challenge your thinking and your beliefs will enable you to “break-out-of- your-brainwashed box” into “out-of-the-box-thinking!”

How are you being brainwashed?

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
I want to do something in our family gathering as we celebrate Thanksgiving to give greater meaning to the day. What do you suggest?
Giving Thanks in Adair

Dear Giving Thanks,
One of my favorite ways to create greater meaning during family gatherings is to make the environment where everyone is celebrating highly creative and interactive. I place as many candles as I can around the room. Decorate the table with toy’s, leaves, and unique found objects that have meaning to me. At each table setting I place a message of hope and thanks for the coming year. Print the message or messages on high quality heavy paper and they will become mementos of a great family celebration. Let your imagination go wild and see what kind of environment you can create in your home. Let me know how it goes.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

During the times of the Romans it was not uncommon for six generations of family members to work on a single temple. During the building process one could expect to find three generations of family members working side by side to complete a major part of the endeavor. Each generation would teach and hone the talents necessary to bring their work to completion. These artisans knew their sacrifices of the day would increase the quality of life for future generations and that in the end they would, in all likelihood, not even see or experience the fruits of their labor. Their philosophy was to leave their community a better place than they had found it.

“In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it.” Marianne Williamson

Today things are very different. In China it only takes five years to build, from scratch, a dynamic and active city of over one million people, a city that is cutting edge, digital, highly urban, running 24×7, and generating talent.

Many of us consider waiting a year for a new home to be built is too long to wait. Business today is influenced by the quarter system, that is, you are only as good as what you produced in the last three months. We want things when we want them, and we don’t want to wait. Instant gratification is a growing phenomenon and it is preventing us from seeing how we contribute to a positive or negative future for the generations ahead.

How often do you think about future generations, generations beyond those of your grandchildren?

I have written about it before and continue to believe in the wisdom of Iroquois thinking. These Native Americans believe in the power of thinking and decision making based upon looking at least seven generations out. This means we would have to look into the future and think about the impact of the decisions we make today and their affect two hundred and ten years in the future. This is a big challenge. I bet some of us out there have a hard time looking out past the upcoming week much less looking ahead one year.

Heck, as a Generation X’er I am a product of the instant gratification junky culture myself. It is just easier for me to focus on myself and my own little world. Over time I have learned about the power of giving back, which supports me to balance my instant gratification tendencies. Giving back has allowed me to increase my perception of how I view the future including the impact I have and that of our collective communities on future generations. Through practice and awareness I am now able to remain aware of my need for instant gratification, and I am able to decide if I want to act on my impulse in the moment or let time pass before making the final decision. I have a hunch that I will be working on this one the rest of my life.

“Nothing valuable can be lost by taking time.” Abraham Lincoln

Now more than ever the world needs for us to take a “long view,” a view that allows us to look toward the kind of future we want to create for our descendants. The decisions we are making today have the ability to create a positive impact on the future or our decisions have the ability to have a potentially negative impact. When you are looking out into the future you start to think critically of the impact of your decisions and actions and those of your surrounding communities.

This is where What Box? thinking can help. It is important to think about as many scenarios as possible when looking out into the future. Imagine what the ideal future looks like and then identify those decisions you have to make to head in the direction of your imagined future. Let go of judgment, run with outrageous ideas, and let your mind take in the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When you allow your mind to imagine future scenarios as they connect to past events, and current activities you will start to link and form new ideas, creative and innovative scenarios. Today we need to be thinking about the future we are creating. Future generations will inherit a very different world than the one we are experiencing in the here and now. This means that we will have to take calculated risks, think beyond our comfort zone, out-of-the-box, and collaborate with others.

“Every age needs men (women) who will redeem the time by living with a vision of things that are to be.” Adlai Stevenson

With the pace of change accelerating and the desire for instant gratification growing, it becomes imperative to think out ahead into the future so we can make the best decisions today, decisions that will have a positive impact on the future. Sometimes this means doing exactly the opposite of what seems to be the natural course, the most obvious and safe course. When you are open to letting your imagination wander, enabling connections to be made, new and powerful solutions become possible.

Next time you are thinking that something is taking too long, remind yourself that “Rome was not built in a day” and then dream a little about the future and what impact you want to make.

You can do anything you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

Let me know what you think.

Write me at sean@whatbox.info or The Chronicle of Grand Lake PO Box 757 Langley, OK 74350 c/o What Box? Visit www.whatbox.info to learn more.

Dear Sean,

I thought you and your readers would be interested in the idea our book club has to discuss some of your articles in our monthly meetings. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Bookworms of Tulsa

Dear Bookworms,

I look forward to your feedback. Keep reading.

All my best,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.