What Box?^®

As humans we are more alike than we are different, regardless of our race, culture or whether we are male or female. Each of us is born with a capacity to learn, experiment, act, love, share, give and take. I like to think of it as each of us being born with a personal bank account. The more you deposit into this account the more you are able to receive. The more you withdraw, the less you are able to receive. Funding your personal bank account sounds simple doesn’t it?

Here is how it works. You are born with your own personal bank account and it is pretty much empty, a blank canvas if you will. As you go through life this account grows or diminishes based upon what you contribute to it through your life experiences. In essence, every second of your life is being applied to your personal bank account and its growth is based upon what you put into it or take out of it. It’s your choice.

You can choose to spend your time depositing into your account through endeavors that will enable you to discover and live your purpose in life, to improve your state of mind, to increase your creative thinking, to reach for your full potential, to foster meaningful relationships with friends, associates and loved ones, to work towards a better future for yourself and others. The other choice, which draws energy from your account, is to squander your time on activities that are self serving, that provide limited enjoyment or social benefit, that provide no personal growth and that take from the earth and people without giving anything back.

“The individual is capable of both great compassion and great indifference. He has it within his means to nourish the former and outgrow the latter.” Norman Cousins

It’s your choice. How will choose to fund your personal bank account?

Here is the thing. Once you have spent your lifetime of experiences you can’t get them back. They are gone forever. Harsh reality isn’t it?

We all have to make choices each and every day, choices between serving others, taking care of number one or on activities that support personal growth. So many of us choose to live a life that only withdraws from our personal bank account by treating people poorly, taking advantage of people, disregarding other’s needs, or through selfish acts to name but a few, all of these actions deplete your bank reserve. Ever wonder why things are not going your way and why people are not trustworthy? Maybe it is time to look into the mirror. Things can be different.

I would propose that working on discovering and living your purpose in life is one of the best places to start depositing into your personal bank account. When you work towards reaching for your full potential you are on the path of greater meaning and increased value. This increased value will naturally and effectively grow your personal bank account and you will discover in the process the positive impact being involved with people and activities outside of yourself can have on your life.

“Once a man has made a commitment to a way of life, he puts the greatest strength of the world behind him. It’s something we call heart power. Once a man has made the commitment, nothing will stop him short of success.” Vince Lombardi

The challenge is to become aware and to be willing to act on changing the negative attributes in your life. No small task that is for sure, you can do it. The transformational process from self serving to self fulfillment is a powerful way to make big deposits into your personal bank account. This is not easy, but it is worth it.

You will find that everything will start to change for the better. Your relationships will become more meaningful and flow more naturally. In fact, you will discover that the more you give of yourself, the more you will receive and the more people will be attracted to you. For in all reality, it is in giving that we receive.

Nothing worth having is easy. If it were easy everyone would be living their purpose in life. You have a purpose in life. The time is now to start discovering and living that purpose. You can do it! Go for it!

“I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count and stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.” Leo Rosten

How much you deposit or withdraw comes down to what is most important to you.

It’s your choice.

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,

I want to invite some friends up to share a weekend at the lake. One of the people isn’t well-liked by the others, but I’d like to include him. What should I do?

Need Some Friendly Advice in Catoosa

Dear Needs Some Friendly Advice,
Let go. This is not your issue. Let your friends work it out amongst themselves. Set a good example for them in how to treat your friend and they in all likelihood will follow. The other option is to invite your friend up to the lake at a different time when those who do not appreciate him are not around. I am sure that there are other friends of yours who would appreciate his company. Let me know what how it goes.

Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

Each and every moment in your life is extremely precious. Each moment represents unlimited potential for creating the life you have always dreamed of, the life you were meant to be living, the life that fulfills your purpose on this planet.

If you are one of the few people that has figured this out, congratulations. If you are among the many who continue to think that there is something more to life than just going through the motions, then now is the time to start working towards living your life’s purpose. What are you waiting for?

What is your dream? What is it that you most desire but don’t currently have in you life? What is it that you are meant to be doing with your life?

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” Carl Sandberg

None of these are easy questions to answer, but once you ask them you will begin the process of opening the doors of perception and begin to naturally move towards reaching your full potential.

I know that for some of us it is just too hard to even start the process of thinking about how to achieve what it is that we dream of for our lives. It is just easier not to think about it. Finding the answers to these questions might mean that we have to change what we are currently doing, change who we live with , change our careers or even move to another location. These are just a few of the reasons why so many people settle and never take the powerful steps needed to reach for something more in their lives in order to discover what the purpose of their life really is.

“To change one’s life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.”
William James

Even if we want to change we can get stuck in a rut. Like a broken record we continue to do what we have always done because it’s more comfortable, like our favorite pair of old worn jeans. At some point you have to make the change and throw those jeans away or find a new use for them. You need to change elements of your life every once in a while otherwise you will start to get tired, worn out, and bored. This leads to complacency and a mental plaque that prevents you from seeing the opportunities around you. You are unique, you are special, you have a purpose in life and it is important to you and the world that you pursue your purpose in life and live it.

What are you waiting for?

You can start by writing down everything you have dreamed about what your life could be. Write down all that comes to you as fast as you can. Don’t think about how whacked out your dreams may be. Don’t stop and think, “This is just too much for anyone to think is real.” Don’t worry at all about what it is you are writing down. Just do it! You can do it!

“We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; they nurse them though bad days until they bring them to the sunshine and the light that always comes to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.”
Woodrow Wilson

After you have written down your dreams, even if just one, post them on the mirror in your bathroom. Look at them each morning. Think about what it would be like if your dreams became real. How would you feel?

The next step is to write down what you need to do to make your dreams real. Start taking these steps. It may take weeks. It may take months. It may take years. It may take a lifetime. It doesn’t matter because you are living your dreams and nothing could be more important.

“Allow yourself to dream and fantasize about your ideal life; what it would look like, and what it would feel like. Then do something everyday to make it a reality.”
Brian Tracy

What are you waiting for?

In my life I work everyday to live my dreams and my life’s purpose. The more I work at this the easier it becomes. Really. I will say this. Your life will never be the same once you embark on this process because you will enter into the great unknown and the world will open up for you. You will start meeting people who are aligned with your dreams and will want to help you. You will start to experience new challenges that will stretch you, enabling you to grow. You will start going with the flow of life. You will start living your purpose. What could be more important?

If you desire to live your life with greater meaning and purpose there is no time like the present to start. You can do it!

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his own dreams and endeavors to live the life that he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
Henry David Thoreau

What are you waiting for?

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

Each week I reflect upon life experiences that have inspired me to live a life with purpose and put these into writings that make up the growing What Box? collection of inspirational stories. Some weeks these stories come forth without effort and at other times it is more like pulling teeth. No matter how easy or difficult it may be it is well worth the effort. These writings are important because they fulfill the purpose of What Box? which is to inspire you, the reader, to think differently, to find within yourself that which will allow you to reach for something more, sparking renewed creativity, enabling you to uncover the seeds of discovering and living your purpose in life.

Inspiration is powerful because it generates action. Usually an inspired action creates something of great meaning and importance to the person, the community, the country or the world. Since the action is inspired it has greater energy and passion behind it, which means it has a greater likelihood of manifesting itself into reality. Inspirations stimulate the mind and emotions into a high level of feeling and activity resulting in such things as new inventions, artistic expression, business success, or writings.

What experiences in your life have inspired you to do something more?

Where does inspiration come from? Inspiration comes from a person’s deep desire for something and then being open to sign posts along his/her life’s journey. Inspiration can come from reading a book, walking in nature, watching TV, skipping rocks, talking with people, traveling around the world, sitting in an airport, drinking in a bar (especially Mooney’s) or just sitting doing nothing and letting the mind rest. Inspiration may come from a deep desire to express oneself artistically and as you ponder what to express you discover inspiration that generates action.

“Inspiration is never genuine if it is known as inspiration at the time. True inspiration always steals on a person, its importance not being fully recognized for some time.” Samuel Butler

As an example, for over five years I had the desire to write a book, a book on creativity and living a life of purpose based upon the experiences in my life and what I had learned from these experiences. You see, my life has been one of extraordinary ups and downs and all arounds. My thinking and that of others who have known me well has been that if I could make it in this crazy world anyone could and that my stories could serve to inspire others. My challenge was how to write a book. I could not even get the first paragraph down on paper.

Then one day while hanging from a sky chair on my boat dock reading The Woodard Hollow Water Spout’s column in The Chronicle of Grand Lake the inspiration hit. What if I could write a weekly creativity and self-fulfillment column in The Chronicle? This would force me to write each week allowing me to start the process of getting my stories out of my head and into print. This inspiration was a call to action. I had to put together a proposal and enroll Rusty Fleming into the vision. It has been two years now since Rusty first said, “I like this idea.”

It was my desire to write a book that caused me to be always thinking about how the heck I was going to produce a book that lead me to be open to the power of inspiration. A year and a half later I published my first book, What Box? Out-of-the-BoxThinking for Career and Life. This is one of the major achievements in my life! It took an inspiration to make it possible because of the hard work necessary to keep on keeping on. If I was not inspired, in all likelihood the energy and passion needed to stay the course would not have been there to write this column and see a book through to completion. The inspiration for What Box? has continued to grow and now I am working on three new books in collaboration with Alice Fenton and Ted Cundiff contributing writers that I collaborate with. Amazing if you ask me and if I can do it you can too. Anyone can.

What Box? is only one small source to stimulate inspiration. There is literally endless inspiration potential out in the world. Focus on that which you most desire in life and open up to the inspirations that surround you. Let the inspiration run through you so that the passion and energy can be a catalyst to greater action. You can do anything you want to do and more when you are inspired!

What is it that you would like to do? Where will you find the inspiration to get started?

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,

Last week you wrote about slowing down. I’ve tried it and it’s really quite uncomfortable. I’m really not happy if I am not doing at least 2 or 3 things at the same time. What value is there in just not doing anything?

Always Doing in Langley

Dear Always Doing

Congratulations on giving the power of slowing down a chance. Most things new are uncomfortable at first. I encourage you to keep at it at least once a day for the next week. The value will become visible over time. New inspirations, improved problem solving, increased creativity, greater efficiency and productivity of your multi-tasking ways are just some of the value you will create when you slow it down. You can do it. Don’t give up. Let me know how it goes.

Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

More and more of us are allowing ourselves to succumb to the negative effects of tension and anxiety. In our society we have a difficult time taking the time to relax and just let the sun shine in. We seem to be addicted to a go faster, do more, and achieve more lifestyle. When Nelson Rockefeller was asked the question, “How much is enough?” he responded with, “Just a little more.” When we get so caught up in the daily grind all day and night, everyday, our tensions grow and in the process we lose the ability to live our lives to the fullest.

Anxiety and antidepressant medications are experiencing significant sales increases each year. Preschoolers are the latest victim of this increasing trend as they are being prescribed antidepressants and anxiety pills at a growing pace. Millions of Americans need to take sleeping pills to get even minimal amounts of sleep each night. All of this points to the unfortunate reality that our culture of “Go! Go! Go!” is preventing us from taking the time and actions necessary to naturally reduce tension and anxiety which enables each of us to live our lives to the fullest,

Even the tools created to make our lives easier and more convenient are more like electronic leashes than “make life easier” tools. PDA’s, email, cell phones, and fax machines support an environment that never shuts down and where you always have to be on. . . Instant response required! It has gotten so bad that more than once I have received calls asking if I had the chance to review an email, an email sent only 10 minutes prior to the call. It is enough to drive even the most balanced person a bit insane. The whole idea of tools that will make life easier has backfired and now many of us can’t even go on vacation without taking their technology with them.

“He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.” Cicero

I know some people out there reading this week’s What Box? are asking themselves, “And so, Sean, when do you slow it down?” I am overly busy and have a difficult time finding the time to slow it down just like so many of us caught up in today’s nano-second society. The way I slow down is by scheduling and making the time to just “be.” I may walk my land at Grand Lake, or sit in my antique pioneer log cabin listening to the birds, watching the squirrels, marveling at the vultures as they soar above the trees, and letting the sun rejuvenate my body as it filters down through the leaves in the trees. . .I just allow myself to “be.”

Having a “go-with-the-flow” attitude is another powerful way to reduce your tension and anxiety. One of the secrets is to keep your mind still. When you are always thinking about what you have to do or other worries of your daily life you prevent yourself from having peace of mind. This means you are more likely to react without thinking through a situation or make decisions you would not have made if you had taken the time to relax and think about it more clearly. When you take the time to be quiet and still your mind you take a giant step towards living your life to its fullest.

One of the easiest methods I have learned to quiet my mind and to remember to “go-with-the-flow” is to take time each morning to sit quietly with myself or with Kristen, my wife, and focus my energy on being balanced throughout the day. This means listening more than I talk, avoiding the urge to react too quickly, staying positive, and quieting my mind. I consciously focus my energy on going with the flow and taking opportunities throughout the day to quiet my mind and focus on the flow of the activities of the day.

I am getting better at keeping a quiet and still mind. It takes constant practice, patience, and determination to be effective. There are some days that I let my activities take over and, as a result, I don’t take the time to still my mind. The result is that I create tension, anxiety, and a tendency to react without thinking. What I have experienced is that if start the day by taking the time to relax my mind the easier and more natural it becomes. These are the days when I am able to go with the flow and have some of the easiest and most powerful outcomes. It is as if I am in rhythm with all things and I find that I am able to accomplish more with greater ease.

It is going to take constant dedication and vigilance if I am going to make the most out of each and every day. Never give up will I.

How are you making the time to slow it down?

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,

I feel very “safe” when I go along with whatever everyone else is thinking. How do I break out of this feeling of safety to really discover what I’m thinking and feeling? This is a very foreign concept to me. I mean, sometimes I actually don’t know what I really think.

Confused in Grove

Dear Confused,

Try small steps at first. Listen to your inner voice. The first intuitions your inner voice comes up with are your real thoughts. It is after you don’t listen to your inner voice that you play it safe and go along with what everyone else is thinking. Have a piece of paper with you and jot down your first inner thoughts. Don’t share them unless you want to. Think about the difference between what you think and what everyone else thinks. After you have a chance to think more about your original thoughts go ahead and share them next time you get the opportunity. Maybe just share one thought. See what others say about it and think about it. Don’t let them discourage you even if at first they don’t like it. It takes time and practice to move past these kinds of fears. Be patient, go slow, and make sure to share your ideas especially if they are going to make a positive difference. Playing it safe never changed the world or a community. Let me know how it goes.

Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.