What Box?^®

How many of us are looking for more meaning and purpose in our lives?

How many of us are just going through the motions in our daily lives?

How many of us are willing to go through the journey to discover our greater purpose?

We are on the brink of a new year, and NOW is the perfect time to start the process of kicking butt with your life!

You can begin by thinking about the kind of future you want to create for yourself. I truly believe you can create, in your life, whatever it is you desire the most. Thinking and visualizing positive thoughts about whatever it is you most desire will, in time, create that which you think about and focus energy on.

Ringing in the New Year is an extremely powerful time for people all over the world. In my life, it is the time of year where Kristen, my wife, and I take the time to review our successes and failures, taking in the lessons learned and then apply them to our updated life design.

I started the process of brainstorming and visualizing personal goals and objectives on large pieces of paper sometime in the early 90′s. Developing a collection of the visual history of my life has become an important tool to support a greater understanding of how my time and energy is focused. Focusing my time more effectively is one of my greatest challenges and one I am constantly working on. Envisioning the future and setting goals for yourself is a fantastic way to create your life, your way.

Here is how it works:

Either by yourself or with your significant other/friend, find a couple of big pieces of paper – a paper grocery bag can work well. You may want to tape some paper together to make the surface bigger. Kristen and I use a 4′ x 14′ piece of paper when we go through this process.

o In the center of the paper write/draw “Creating My Life, My Way, Today!” If you are working with another person, have them do the same on a separate piece of paper.

o Randomly write/draw words that categorize your life activities and actions. Make sure to allow plenty of space so you can add additional details around each of your categories. Here are some examples of categories that I like to use:

o Family/Friends
o Career/Business
o Health/Physical
o Finance
o Home Environment
o Community
o Fun/Recreation
o Personal Growth

o After you have developed your categories, focus your energy and attention on each category, one at a time. Write down your ideal goals and outcomes for that category in the coming year. Take your time, writing as many aspirations as you can think of. The key is not to over think your ideas. Usually the first thoughts you think of are what you truly desire. Use the same process for the remaining categories.

o Compare your Life Creating Visual with your significant other or good friend. Have each person share their entire visual one at a time. Next, start looking for the areas where you can support one another in achieving each other’s goals for the coming year. Make sure to talk about the challenges and success factors to achieving the goals and outcomes. Stay realistic, setting yourself up for success instead of failure.

o When you have your Life Creating Visual completed post it in a place where you can see it every day. The wall into the bathroom, your bedroom mirror, or in the kitchen. Just post it!

I know what some of you are thinking right now, “This is going to be a lot of hard work and take up a bunch of my time.” I feel the same way at times and I just don’t want to go through the hassle to do this kind of personal growth work. Guess what? I still do it, and then after all is said and done, I wonder why I even hesitated at all. Getting over the hump to create the life you want takes effort. In the end, nothing could be greater than living the life you create each and every day.

Time is running out! How are you going to create the rest of your life?

Let me know what you think?

Dear Sean,
Volunteering in our community is something I’ve always enjoyed doing. However, I’m finding that the more I give, the more people expect of me. What can I do when I find that people are taking me for granted?
Help!

Dear Taken for Granted,
One of the hardest words for many of us to learn could quite possibly be the word, “NO,” but this is one word I would highly recommend that you learn. It is very easy to get involved with volunteer opportunities in your community. One of keys to successful volunteering is in knowing your limitations and setting agreed structures and clear communication between each other. If you have five hours to give then learn to say no to additional requests for volunteer time. Don’t let yourself be taken for granted anymore. Learn to set limits and follow through with them. If this means saying “NO” more often so be it. You only have so much to give and burning out does not help anyone.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

One’s ability to recognize and remove emotional, perceptual, and cultural blocks can be a major step towards greater creativity along with breaking out-of-the-box. Once you start removing these obstacles you begin to start establishing a frame of mind that is more conducive to letting your creative thinking flow. This does not mean that you can simply flip a mental switch and suddenly become creative. Like so many things written in What Box? it takes practice. I continue to persevere over the blocks and obstacles that hold me back and in all likelihood will be for the rest of my life.

There is no silver bullet or magic formula that will help you to think and be more creative. Instead you have to constantly practice putting yourself in environments that enable creative impulses and thinking to grow. Here are some effective tools I have found that when used and practiced on a regular basis have helped me to be more creative and I believe will help you as well.

Keep a Positive Attitude
To reinforce a creative attitude within you, begin by stating out load this simple statement, “I am a creative person.” It is that simple. Say it over and over. For the rest of this week make this one of the first things you say when you wake up and one of the last things you say before you go to bed. By affirming your own creative talents you will minimize your negative self-doubts and build a more positive mind-set. Research and experiments have proven that the mere suggestion that a person is an original thinker improves his or her creative abilities. Begin to think of yourself as more creative, begin thinking of yourself as a creative person. If you think you are creative you are.

Take Time to Relax
This is not always an easy one to achieve in our hectic lives. Here is the thing, when you take the time to relax you are working within your own natural flow of creativity. A relaxed mind is an essential characteristic of a creative mind. Being physically tense or mentally uptight has a crippling effect on our natural creative talents. If you are trying to hard to solve a problem in all reality you are moving farther away from identifying a solution. Creative ideas must be allowed to emerge naturally. They cannot be forced. Removing rigidness and moving into a mind-set of greater flexibility is an important piece to being more creative. To be creative stay loose.

Suspend Judgment at Least for a While
Ideas and creative thinking are very delicate. Just one criticism or negative thought can inhibit creative thinking. When you hear yourself say to someone, “That’s a good idea, but . . .” you are inhibiting his or her creativity and worse yet, your own. When you say to yourself or others, “That is no good or that will never work . . .” you are guilty of judging too soon. Try this instead. Give your imagination the “green light” and let the ideas flow. Later there will be plenty of time to judge and evaluate the ideas that have been created.

Open Your Doors of Perception
A creative attitude is a questioning and searching state of mind. Questioning is one of our great gifts and a basic foundation in the creative process. To be creative it is important to be sensitive to problems and their implications. And while your judgment may be temporarily suspended, your analytical abilities are not. Creativity requires the ability to analyze problems and break them down into manageable components.

To achieve a stronger creative attitude, open up all of your senses. Strive for a state of heightened awareness which is more in tune with your natural abilities. This kind of fluid state of mind increases your perceptions making you more sharp and responsive. Plug into your senses and you will be able to maximize your creative powers.

“Originality,” said Woodrow Wilson, “is simply a fresh pair of eyes.”

Let me know what you think.

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

I am constantly having to remind myself that “I know more than I know I know” when I get stuck on some challenge. There is a solution out there. The challenge is to remove the blocks that prevent my mind from being open to discovering new, different and creative ways of thinking.

As an example, we all have up to three dreams each and every night. Yet, how many of us remember our three dreams. Images in your dreams use all of your imagination and are rich in symbolism. For some reason many of us block these dreams and don’t allow ourselves to experience one of the great joys of living. Daydreams and the dreams that you have when you are sleeping have the ability to communicate deep insights into our creative nature as humans. When you work to unblock your mind and start recalling your dreams and intuitively look for the meaning found in the images dreamt, you start to open a whole new path to expanding your creativity along with the power of your subconscious mind. What did you dream last night?

Because we are all made of pure creativity we can do anything we set our minds to. When we are able to understand our strengths and weaknesses we are able to hone our abilities and start building on them. Some of us are more verbal than others. Some think more linearly than others, and still others use more of their emotions to increase their creativity. The challenge is to take an honest look at yourself.

What do I really want in life?
What do I want to create for myself?
What are my greatest skills?
What abilities can I improve upon?
What creative abilities do I have that I am letting sit dormant?

A child’s mind is totally open when he or she is born. Many of us lose this openness as we move through adolescence and into adulthood. Children are learning and exploring at a hyper rate as they grow. Anything is possible and their creativity is at an all time high. Yet, somehow as time goes by they start to think that they can’t do this or that. They start thinking I can’t draw and then stop drawing. As they try new things they begin to think that their ideas might not work and therefore they don’t try them because they might look bad. All of this thinking is learned and blocks our ability to reach our full creative potential. See if you can do this for just and hour, “Let go of all negative thoughts and allow your mind to think that anything is possible. I can do this.” Your creativity will blossom right in front of you.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

Exploring your creativity is not limited to dreaming, drawing, imagining, attitudes, and thinking. Instead, there is virtually an unlimited number of ways that you can expand and grow your creativity. Focus on understanding your natural abilities and build on them. Be who you are. No one else can be you and you can’t be anyone else. Be prepared to change. Many times everything is changing but the way we are thinking.

In our society we focus a lot of our energy on linear, logical thinking. Some of the keys to being more creative are paying attention to our intuition, expressing our emotions, and exploring new ideas visually. These non-traditional methods of thinking and being creative are exactly what today’s competitive workforce needs to have if they are going to be at the top of their game. How can we change the way we think about education and what is taught in our schools? How can we change the way we think about who we are and what we know?

Each and every one of us needs a balanced life, the balance of work life and family life, the balance of linear thinking and creative thinking, along with a balance of rest and activity.

It is not always easy to balance the activities in your life. Here is a little secret, “When you are using more of your creative abilities you will come closer to creating a more balanced life.” Each and every one of your creative abilities is unique to you. They make you who you are. They hold unlimited potential and cost you nothing. The time is now to unleash your creative abilities.

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
Christmas time is one of my favorite times of the year. I love putting up decorations, looking for just the right gifts to give to the important people in my life and going to holiday parades and sing-a-longs. On the other hand, this time of year is the worst as far as my husband is concerned. What can I do to change his negative view of this holiday season?
Help!

Dear Help,
Activities and demands pick up during the holidays and this can increase stress and cause anyone to feel some negativity this time of year. Find out what in particular it is that causes your husband to have such a negative view of the holidays. Then see if there is any way to reduce the activities that are causing the negative feelings. Try and re-invent the Christmas holiday. What would he like to do that would make him feel positive about Christmas? Do it and see how things change. Mix it up and have some fun.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

Each and every day we make choices, choices that affect our lives and that of others. What we value and how we think of others influences the decisions and choices we make. What do you value and how does this affect your decisions?

Today more than ever it is critical to see the world through a lens of sustainability and equality for all. As a world we are consuming more of the earth’s resources than ever and polluting our world at an ever increasing level, an unsustainable level. Many seem to take a short view and make decisions based upon what impact they can create in the immediate future without regard for the long term consequences of these decisions. Our challenge as individuals and as a community is to think about the long term effects of our decisions. To look out longer than five years and instead think in terms of five generations. No small task indeed.

Living and maintaining a sustainable life does not mean that you have to give up all the joys of life we have become accustomed to and in many cases take for granted each day. Quite the opposite. Living a sustainable life means taking the time to buy foods that are locally grown, clothing that is made from natural or recycled materials, or driving your car just a little less. As an example, Kristen, my wife, and I belong to two co-ops in Tulsa that provide us with so much food each week that are able to avoid shopping at Wal-Mart, in fact we have not shopped at Wal-Mart in over seven months running.

It has not been easy to reduce our dependency on Wal-Mart, we had to make a conscious effort to shift our thinking and patterns of buying, spend a little extra, and go out of our way to make it work. In the end the benefits are well worth the time and cost. The food we buy is locally grown, organic, and tastes way better than any other we have eaten besides the stuff that comes from our veggie garden in Zena. All the vegetable last at least a week longer than the stuff you buy in the stores and hey, we are supporting the local economy of our farmers. What could be better?

Native Americans have understood the importance of sustainability for generations. Whenever they were looking to make important decisions that would affect the entire tribe they would consider their decision with the perspective of how it would affect future generations. Native Americans were sensitive to how they impacted the areas where they lived, hunted, grew crops, and interacted. They knew when it was time to leave and let the area they lived rejuvenate itself by letting nature work her magic. They would scout out a new and abundant place to live for as long as that place could sustain them and still come back to the way they found it. We have a lot to learn if we are to sustain our current way of life.

Somewhere along the path we have lost the relationship with our local community and the surroundings of our planet. If we do not gain a better perspective and rethink our relationship with our environment, our local communities, and the planet we call home we are sure to reach a limit that will force us to adjust our lifestyle. We cannot be like the proverbial ostrich and hide our heads in the sand. Wouldn’t it be more productive to take a proactive approach to our changing world and think about our decisions from a sustainable point of view? Our children, your grandchildren and future generations are all depending on us to make the right decisions.

Pursuing practices that will lead to “sustainable livelihood for all” can be such a formidable challenge that to many it seems unrealistic or not worth the effort. Here is the thing, if we, as citizens of Grand Lake and the world are to leave a legacy of lasting positive stewardship of our local community and the planet for future generations, we must take the steps to change our view of a sustainable community. A long view that includes everyone and everything in the choices we make. In the end our individual choices impact not just a Sustainable Grand Lake but a sustainable world. The choice is yours. What will you choose?

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
I have a pit bull who I love with all my heart. I am a responsible parent and love my dog. I am upset by discussions about banning the pit bull breed here in Oklahoma. What do you think?
Very Concerned

Dear Concerned,
Like your self I am concerned by the desire to ban any breed of dogs. Pit bulls are some of the smartest and most loving dogs I have ever known or owned. When raised in a loving and structured environment there is no better a dog to have in ones life. I believe that the state should look at rewarding good pit bull owners and any dog owner for that matter and punish irresponsible pit bull/dog owners. No dog should be allowed to run around loose in the streets, no dogs should be raised to fight and no dogs should be treated in an inhumane manner. Pit bulls take more discipline and attention than many breeds but this does not mean that they should be banned. Write your legislative representative and let them know that you do not support banning pit bulls but instead support responsible dog ownership legislation.
Keep On Keeping On,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.