What Box?^®

Here we are and already another year has passed since our last Thanksgiving celebration on Grand Lake. This is the time of year family and friends gather to celebrate Thanksgiving, a time set aside to express gratitude for all that has come into our lives. Many of us will fill our ovens with as big a bird as we can find. Some will fill their bellies to the stretching point and others will glue eyes to the television set to watch football. Some will engage in lengthy conversations with one another while others will be playing board games. And some of you will take the time to relax and recharge batteries.

Yet how many of you will take the time to contact someone who is not part of your Thanksgiving celebrations, someone that you are thankful for being a part of your life. Those people who have influenced you in positive ways, those who have taken the time to make a difference in your life, for accepting you just as you are. You know the person in your life you are always wishing you would talk with, but you just don’t seem to make the time. Now is the time! Go ahead and make the call, or email that someone whom you are grateful for. This kind of gratitude is priceless and only builds positive energy that can last a lifetime.

People who live in the Grand Lake area have so much to be thankful for: we have some of the most dynamic seasonal weather you could ask for. We have people who care and give so much of themselves to make where we live even better. We have one of the most incredible lakes on the planet. We have people who want to help people. We live in a place where you can do anything you want to do and more. Absolutely fantastic! I am so grateful for each and every day that I am able to stand on the shores of such a sacred spot.

This is the time of year that I like to take the time and think about everything that I have to be grateful for. I usually pull out one of my handmade sketch books and start putting down on paper my appreciations for the people, places and things that have influenced my life in a positive way over the years.

Visualizing what I am grateful for is such an inspiring process to go through. It makes me smile. It enables me to relive positive interactions and experiences only reinforcing the lessons that I have learned. Yet, why is it that I only tend to do this once a year, right around the holidays? Is it because of my continual doing and activity? Is it because I allow my daily activities to take over and forget what I am grateful for?

How are you expressing your gratefulness? Visualizing your appreciations in a journal is a great way to get started.

Sometime in 1989 I started writing down all the things I was grateful for each and every day. I filled journals with what I was grateful for before I would go to sleep each night. At dinner I would ask friends and family what they were grateful for today. It was always interesting to ask people, “What are you grateful for today?” when they were not used to thinking about it. The question forced them to look at the positive and explore what was good in their lives. As time has passed I have lost the intensity of asking myself the question on a regular basis. No more do I write down in my journal what I am grateful for today. Why not?

Life has a way of taking over reducing the amount of time we have to reflect, be still, and give thanks throughout the year. We all have something to be grateful for. This year I am grateful for my continued ability to impact people’s lives in positive and inspirational ways. I am grateful for the ability to give back and make a positive difference. I am grateful for having everything I need taken care of. I am grateful for being surrounded by great family and friends. I am grateful for having the fingers and hands that give me the ability to type the words you are reading right now.

What are you grateful for? How are you expressing gratitude in your life?

Every day holds hundreds of opportunities to express your gratitude. Just think how much the world would change for the better if we all started showing more appreciation for the people and things we are grateful for in our lives.

Writing this What Box? has reminded me of how much I can improve the amount of times I share my gratitude and appreciation in my life. And for this I am grateful.

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
My husband and I travel to visit family members in another state every year during the holidays. This year we’ve decided to spend the holidays by ourselves, but our relatives are not happy with our decision. What can we say that will help them understand?
Home for the Holidays

Dear Home for the Holidays,
The decision to take time for your self and your husband is always a good one. In many cases family will not understand why you would choose not to travel and celebrate holiday with them. This is ok. Like your self my family is out of state and after years of traveling out of state for the Holidays sometimes it makes sense to take a break. Here is what I have done. I give my family an option. Let them know that you would very much like to celebrate the Holidays with them, only this year you are not interested in traveling to do so. Let your family know that you would love to have them come visit you and celebrate the holidays at your home. In the end your family may not be happy about your decision or the option that is available to them. If they are determined to spend the Holidays with you they will come out. If not give them call and let them know how much you love them and look forward to seeing them soon. Have wonderful Thanksgiving.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.

Whenever I am preparing myself to start writing the latest What Box? I have to engage the process of getting my creative juices flowing. Sometimes this is effortless and the words and ideas flow naturally. Other times it can be like pulling teeth and nothing seems to flow at all. This can be very frustrating.

So what can we do to increase the flow of our creative juices when we are blocked and need a jolt of inspiration? Here are few methods I use to get my creative juices flowing.

Finding Balance – When we are always doing, planning, and creating we are not allowing the natural process of our bodies and minds to flow with ease. We need to make time to relax our minds and bodies to be quite and do nothing, and if at all possible, think about nothing. No small task that is for sure. Our society has us on the treadmill of life and it tends to speed up each and every year. We have to remember that our mind is a living organism that needs breaks. Our mind works in 90 minute cycles, give it a rest. People who find the time to let their mind wander and relax are able to get their creative juices flowing more effectively than those who continue to burn theirs out.

Walk in Nature – One of the most powerful ways I have found to expand my creative thinking and to get the creative juices flowing is to take a walk in the woods. Nothing seems to open the mind and senses like a good walk outside. It is strange to think that many people go through each and every day only getting outside when they walk from their home to their car or from their job to their car. Living and working on or near Grand Lake is one of the greatest blessings anyone can have. Take advantage of it and get outside and see where your creative juices take you. “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their freshness into you and your cares will drop off like the falling leaves.” John Muir

Let it Go – If you are stuck on something you are trying to figure our and cannot get anything going, walk away from it. Take a break or do something totally different. One of the great secrets of creative genius is to let it go, noodle it, sleep on it, and let the natural process of creativity work for you. The more intent we become on making something happen the more we block inspiration from coming to us. I always like to plan an extra couple of days whenever I have a creative deadline looming. This allows me to work on it a little each day and reflect upon what has been created. In the end the more time I let go and then come back to the creative work at hand the better the end product. Go ahead give it a try and let it go for a day. “If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.” Raymond Inman

Search the Net – In the old days I used to have four library cards that I would use on a regular basis, searching through all the reference material that I could get my hands on. This process allowed me to explore just about anything remaining open for the creative inspiration to hit. Today we have the Internet which provides us with access unlimited resources to explore any subject you can think of. If you don’t have access to the Internet go to your local library or a book store and pick up a bunch of magazines and books. Sit down and start turning the pages being open to what every creative inspiration comes to you. Don’t rush it, take your time, and let the natural flow of creativity run through you. You never know what is possible until you give yourself time to let creativity happen.

Draw it Out of Yourself – Drawing out my ideas is one of the single most important creativity tools I have been able to develop over the years. I literally have over a hundred sketch books with ideas and concepts represented visually. We have all heard it said that some of the best ideas where drawn on napkins. I have been in my share of napkin meetings and I know that many of you have as well. There is a reason for this. What is the reason? Drawing expands your thinking and allows you to let the natural flow of creativity run through your body and mind. More and more I see people with sketch books writing down their ideas. Over at the Brush and Palette they have some of the best hand-made sketch books I have found. When you draw on hand-made paper the creativity is only intensified. Get yourself a sketch book and start drawing out your best ideas.

Sleep – In my life I have been frustrated, depressed, tuckered out and have felt hopelessness. In these cases I have learned if it is this bad just go ahead and call it a day. Go to bed and sleep it off. Yes, even if it is 1:00 in the afternoon just go ahead and sleep. It is amazing what can happen when you wake up from sleeping off your frustrations. Draw out your first thoughts when you wake up. What were you dreaming about? Taking the time to take care of yourself and sleeping is one of the best ways to recharge your batteries. Go ahead give yourself permission to hit that pillow.

Day Dream – I am a big day dreamer. In my life I have day dreamed more than a few days away and what a great use of my time. Living and working on Grand Lake has allowed me the flexibility to take the time to day dream quite a bit. When you take the time to day dream new creative ideas and solutions arise. Daydreaming may be one of the best ways to get your creative juices flowing. Even if you take 10 minutes to just day dream, to let your mind wander, and then apply those new insights to life, amazing things begin to happen. Go ahead, day dream a day away. “Nothing happens unless first a dream” Carl Sandburg

These are just a few ideas on how to get your creative juices flowing. I use them and you can too. What ways are using to get your creative juices flowing?

Let me know what you think.

Dear Sean,
I can’t believe that I’m already seeing Christmas decorations out in the stores, to say nothing about the ads for all the wonderful gifts you can give. How do you deal with all the commercialism that comes out in force this time of year? I’m beginning to feel like Mr. Scrooge.
Frustrated!!

Dear Frustrated,
Great question! The challenge is to not forget the true meaning of Christmas. In fact a greater challenge is to live the true meaning of Christmas throughout the year. This year consider taking a break from consumerism and buy nothing. No small task. Instead pull a Martha Stewart and make your gifts from scratch. Two things will happen. People will love the fact you put your heart and soul into the gift because you made it. In the process you will create a more memorable gift, one soon not to be forgotten, let’s say like a tie or cooking utensil. One final thought November 25th is Buy Nothing Day. Go ahead and try it. Visit www.buynothingday.com to learn more.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create yourself.

If I were a baseball player my batting average would be something like .169. I miss more baseballs and strike out way more than I hit the ball. Never mind a single, double, or a home run. Kristen, my wife, is laughing right now because I have used sports as a metaphor and the only sport I really enjoy is a good Formula car race. The thing is that the baseball metaphor could not be much better. After all, what other activity rewards a person so well for getting it right less than 30% of the time? You have to swing at a lot of balls; we are talking a lot of balls before you connect with one in a meaningful way.

In my life I have made more mistakes, messed up more situations than I care to remember and in general have struck out more than I have connected. I have been depressed, and felt tremendous hopelessness in my life as a result of some these mistakes. The difference is that instead of giving up or developing a pessimistic attitude towards life I have learned from these mistakes and embraced the opportunities within them. By looking at how I contributed to the mistakes I have uncovered new perspectives to move forward with my dreams and aspirations. Each time I just had to find the courage to remind myself that I am “perfectly imperfect” and that everyone makes mistakes.

I can remember one such experience as if it happened yesterday. In 1993 I was starting some of my very first consulting gigs and was hired by the Board of the Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford University. For this project I was hired to graphically facilitate the Boards’ yearly strategic planning session. In graphic facilitation I support groups to think more visually by facilitating them while capturing the ideas developed during the meeting. The way I do this is with a hand full of colored markers and a piece of paper approximately four feet wide by twenty feet long. With these simple tools I translate the ideas generated during the meeting into images that are easy to understand. Not only am I drawing pictures representing these complex ideas live and in real time I am capturing key thoughts in words. This particular Board made up of some of the most prestigious doctors in the world who were very focused on my mistakes this particular day.

Being a dyslexic, words are always a bit of a challenge. Even when I know the word and how it is spelled I will simply misspell it. You can only imagine what happens when the words are coming from a doctors’ vocabulary. As we all have experienced at one point or another when a doctor is speaking in doctor talk they do not always speak English. As I misspelled the first word the meeting came to a halt because it had to be corrected. I reminded them that “hey this is hand made, let’s focus on the content and not so much the accuracy because we can correct the spelling later.” No such luck. As the meeting continued the words got harder and harder and I misspelled more and more often. By the time eight hours had passed I actually had to hold back the tears because some of the Board members were so totally focused on the spelling being correct before we could move forward with the meeting.

When I finally got back home I was thinking, “What am I doing this for? I don’t need this torture. Forget this crap.” While I was venting and sitting on my bed stewing I picked up the dictionary I always keep close at hand. I started looking up the words I had misspelled and began writing them down. I was thinking, “I will never misspell this word again,” and proceeded to write the words I had misspelled in front of all those Board members over and over and over – kind of like the way teachers have kids write on the chalkboard. The process of writing those words gave me confidence and I realized that instead of giving up my work as a graphic facilitator I could write down the words I consistently misspell and learn how to spell them correctly on a regular basis.

After 13 years and graphically facilitating hundreds of meetings I continue to misspell words. Only now I have learned how to not be so hard on myself and remind myself that I am “perfectly imperfect” and what could be more perfect.

Let me know what you think. What are your experiences with perfection?

Dear Sean,
Last week you wrote how important it is to stay positive and optimistic even though things are going badly. What is the key to staying positive? I find it to be extremely difficult.
Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,
It can be very difficult to stay positive when times are rough. It takes continued practice and patience as you train yourself to find the positive, even in challenging situations. One of the best ways I have found to stay positive in almost any situation is to look at the following. Am I still alive? Check. Do I still have all my senses? Check. Are my family and friends still my family and friends? Check. This always helps to reflect upon what I have instead of what I don’t. It is during this time, when your mind is most open, attempt to search your mind for the potential positive outcomes that can happen. Try to run scenarios based upon your ideal outcome and look for the paths to reach that ideal. It will not come easy. Over time it will become easier. You can do it.
Keep on keeping on,
Sean

Until next week, remember the only boxes that exist are the ones you create for yourself.